It was a big, big, night at Cedar Creek as we set up for Quiz and bunch of children celebrated their victory at the Hunger Games or T-Ball or whatever.  After a discreet conversation with some of the parents about the content of the game in general and, specifically, tonight's R3, they cleared out pretty quickly.  R3 was also bold enough to clear out the corporate event that had decided it was better to take up 8 tables in the bar rather than hang out on the deck which had been reserved for them.  Suddenly, I love R3.

R1 tonight was a tricky one.  I give you three groups of things and you tell me the ONE thing that fits in all three.  Yes, I accepted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a valid answer, but REALLY want I was looking for was Michelangelo.  The groups included 'nunchuck' users and only one of the TMNT used them but, as ninjas, they are all probably versed in their use, so I'll let it slide.  Congrats to Kim Jong Ill Communication for acing the round.

R2 was an audio round on Dark vs. Light.  I thought the hardest one was going to be that song by The Darkness which I'd never heard off but it seems I was the only one as EVERYONE got that one.  Strangely, Rainbow in the Dark, proved more troublesome for most including one team that said Stranger in the Dark.  I don't know if that's actually a song title or not, but I suspect, if it is, it's about dudes in Memorial Park around 1:00am. Kim Jong Ill Communication and Limp Triscuit lead the round with 13 a piece.

R3, my new favorite round, dealt with the valuable and instructive topic of Age of Consent.  For example: If the Age of Consent in Texas is 17 (which it is, FYI) could you legally bone someone born on the day the Branch Davidian compound burned to the ground?  Perfect in its construction, this round deals with history, state laws and jail bait.  BRILLIANT!  Why Not Zoidberg?! agrees and takes away 8 points.

R4 dealt with the newest soldier in the War on Women, #Julia.  I asked you questions based on a day in #Julia's life and we learned a little more about her.  In short, here's what we've learned: WE WANT TO PARTY WITH #JULIA.  That bitch is baller. Congrats to the five teams that can keep up with her: Why Not Zoidberg?!, Limp Triscuit, Oops! My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma, The Weakest Link and Not Quite, all nabbing perfect scores.

R5 was another Ele-Mentality round where you identify a famous person and then use their initials to conjure an element of the Periodic Table.  Big scores here with Pop Culture Reference and We've Already Seen Britney Spear's X-Factor both scoring 8.

R6 on Crime Fighting Dogs was a little sketchier and lead to an argument over whether 'Mastiff' was an acceptable answer for 'Dogue de Bordeaux'.  It isn't as that is a French Mastiff and just 'Mastiff' doesn't really get there but I'll let you slide THIS TIME.  Congrats to Oops! My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma who, appropriately, fetched a perfect score in this round.

R7 was some super-awesome TV Theme song remixes I whipped up for you.  Its also the round where I was overcome with food poisoning and had to get Jamey to take over while I went to vomit in the restroom.  Are these two things related?  We'll never know.

Add in R8 with its Random Knowledge and Joker dropping and you've got a GAME!

In the end, Oops! My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma pulled out the win with We've Already Seen Britney Spear's X-Factor coming in 2nd with an appropriate score of 69.  Kim Jong Ill Communication rounds out the medal standings in Third.

HUGE thanks and hugs to Jamey for saving my ass last night.  I don't know what I ate that took me down, but I'm not going to eat it again I can tell you that much.

See you all next week as we continue our quest to expand our brains while destroying our livers!

Yes, after our huge farewell party last week, Clayton showed up again.  So awkward.  It's like when you say a long and heartfelt good bye to someone when you leave dinner and then winding up next to them at a stop light a few blocks away.  Do you wave?  Roll down the window and have a brief chat?  Have a conversation via text message in the privacy of your own cars?  I don't know whether Emily Post has a defined etiquette for this but she should.  

So, there he is, standing right there, even after all the goodbyes and tears and well wishes we'd sent him off with last week.  I decided to take the moral high ground and get drunk as quickly as possible.  It seems that you guys made the same choice and, apparently, it worked out for the best.  Finally, he's gone and next week I can, at last, run the round I've been saving called Clayton's Gone, Let's Talk About Him.  I'm sure you're going to love it.

Seriously, Clayton, thanks for helping out again this week and good luck as you kick off your own Quiz this week at an inferior bar on a shitty night at an inconvenient time.  I'm sure you'll do great and, if you work really hard, maybe one day YOU can be the one to get paid for being drunk and dumping your work load on a noob.

We kicked off tonight's Quiz with an AWESOME round on State Haikus.  I read the Haiku, you tell me what state is about.  Not many got Rhode Island and NO ONE got Iowa but Louisiana and Florida were winners all around.  I was shocked to see that there was no Texas haiku, maybe I'll write one for you guys at some point.  Three-way for 1st in this round featuring My License to Ill Expired,  Its Gonna Be a Man Eat Dog on Roof Election and Deep Balls with 7 points each.

The first Audio Round of the night brought us Spell It Out where all the songs featured people spelling words.  Yes, Gwen, this shit is bananas and I've never been able to spell that word until this song.  Unfortunately, now I can't STOP spelling that word, thanks for that.  Several good scores here but My License to Ill Expired rocked it with 14 points and a joker to take an early lead.

In honor of National Mental Health Month, R3 was titled Mel Gibson or Gary Busey and merely required that you identify which of these nut jobs each factoid was referring to.  This turned out to be more difficult that anyone (except me) had expected and scores were kind of low.  Lee, however, really knows her crazy people and lead the round.  BTW, in case you're still wondering, here are some pictures of Mel Gibson's one huge kidney.

R4 was called Fantasy Islands and was about, well, Fantastic Islands.  From Lost to the Most Dangerous Game (wait, are those actually the same thing?) most people did really well here.  Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh, back from their triumphant North American tour, lead the round with a perfect score.

R5 was a host of deceased artists of whom we are commissioning holograms to perform during Geek Bowl next year.  FYI, Gerard DePardieu, Billy Idol and Axl Rose are all incorrect answers mostly because THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T DEAD!  I could, however, have made holograms of their careers and that would have been fair game though. My License to Ill Expired was the only group to get all 8 and led the round.

R6 brought us two things:  Clayton's soothing voice and The Adventures of Crack-Man & Donkey Bong.  This round my very well go down in Geeks history as a perfectly crafted round.  Its geeky, its a bit immature and it involves a bit of brain work.  Genius.  Whether it's Angry Turds, Mario Fart or Resident Weevil, these titles are all CLASSIC.  Also classic were some of the incorrect answers you guys gave me like: World of Whorecraft, Minesleeper and Fuck Hunt, the later of which I have played on numerous occasions.  Scores were very good in this round with My License to Ill Expired and It's Gonna Be a Man Eat Dog on Roof Election both nabbing 8 points.

R7 brought us The Lonely Island Sing-a-long where, after singing along with some awesome clips, you had to tell me the guest artist in each snippet.  I will assert that Micheal Bolton's performance on Jack Sparrow is absolutely the best of his career. Deep Balls and I Lost My Virginity but I Still Have the Box it Came in lead the round with 7 points.

Add in some Random Knowledge and sprinkling of Joker-love and we've got ourselves a game.  My License to Ill Expired pretty much dominated the whole night, increasing their lead from 1 point to 6 by the end of the game leaving Its Gonna Be a Man Eat Dog on Roof Election to settle for 2nd place.  Deep Balls made a huge, last-minute surge to squirt past Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh for 3rd in the final moment of the game.  Lee nabbed the T-Ball Award in a closely-challenged race and Lawrence won tonight's super-awesome Email Bonus Prize Pack and will be going to see Carrie Fisher talk at the Hobby Center about her life, her mother and her favorite cocktails.

In parting, here's a Texas haiku I've written in honor of you guys:

August Heat Swelters

Strangers giggle and point at

Your profuse ball sweat

If you'd like to write a Texas haiku for me, and you KNOW you want to, put it in the comments section and I'll give a free beer to the best one. (Make sure to put your name on it.)

See you all next week as we continue our quest to expand our brains while destroying our giant horseshoe-shaped kidney.

Yes, I broke a tooth on Sunday evening doing absolutely nothing.  For now, the After-Quiz game of Who's in My Mouth will be temporarily suspended pending quality dental care.

Jagged molars notwithstanding, last night was a pretty awesome game.  The crowd was a little smaller than we're typically used to, but at Geeks, we focus on quality, not quantity (except during the aforementioned After-Quiz game.)

R1 tonight started us off with a round titled It's Not Easy Being Green.  Apparently its not easy answering questions about green shit either cuz scores were a little on the low side.  Scissor Me Timbers lead the round with 6.

R2 was an audio round on Fast Food, not that Justin Timberlake's AWESOME song Drive Thru was on this list (bitter) but that all the songs TALKED about fast food joints.  Again, scores failed to dazzle me with Scissor Me Timbers leading again with 12, reserving their Joker in hopes of a R8 bonanza.

R3 was a speed round asking you to name 8 of the 10 shows that have won the Emmy for Best Game Show.  Score were MUCH better here and everyone had a great time thinking of awesome memories of Cash Cab and Win Ben Stein's Money, although not many actually answered either of them.

R4 brought the Return of Clayton and the Number 6.  You may remember him as the guy that auditioned during the game last week before we hired him the day after.  He's going to be taking over a new game at an inferior bar on a less glamorous night and we wish him the best.  You may remember the Number 6 from counting on your fingers, its the first finger on your second hand.  Score remained in the acceptable range and Clayton didn't we his pants after mispronouncing 'Arthropod' so I think the round was a big success.

R5 was more of those hypothetical vanity plates that you 'love' so much.  You're welcome.  Soylent Green is Poodles lead with 7 points.

R6 was Start, Applications, Games and was a round on 'old school' computer games.  Clearly the writer of this round and I differ on what 'old school' constitutes as I remember jizzing my pants when I got a Pong game as a child but the oldest thing in this round was Minesweeper.  If its comes in colors, its not 'old school' to me.

R7 was a Halle Berry audio round which served to remind us that Ms. Berry was FANTASTIC in Monster's Ball but, really , has failed to make another decent movie either before or after that time.  She did net a $1MM bonus for showing us her boobs in Swordfish, though, so that's got to be worth something.  Baby Seal Club lead the round with 7 points.

Add in some Random Knowledge and, basically, every Joker in the house and we got a GAME!  In the end, Scissor Me Timbers was unstoppable tonight leading almost every round to take 1st place.  Soylent Green is Poodles was hot on their tail for 2nd with Baby Seal Club wrapping up 3rd.  The Fratellies claimed the T-Ball Award for their last-place finish and everyone felt like a winner.

See you guys next week as we continue our quest to expand our minds while destroying our livers!

• Bumsted's - Tucson 8:00 PM
• The Canyon's Crown Restaurant & Pub - Tucson 8:00 PM
• Redwing Bar & Grill - San Diego 8:00 PM
• D Note - Arvada 6:30 PM
• Noonan's Tavern - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Dad & Dude's Breweria - Centennial 8:00 PM
• Old Chicago (Tejon) - Colorado Springs 8:00 PM
• Casey's Bistro and Pub - Denver 9:00 PM
• Moe's BBQ (North) - Denver 8:00 PM
• Nicolo's Pizza - Denver 8:00 PM
• Old Chicago (Market Street) - Denver 8:00 PM
• Rooster & Moon - Denver 7:00 PM
• The HandleBar Tavern - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Rackhouse Pub - Denver 8:00 PM
• Zio Romolo's Alley Bar - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Tavern at St. Michael's Square - Greeley 8:00 PM
• Tomichi Tavern - Gunnison 8:00 PM
• Monroe's Lounge - Loveland 7:30 PM
• Piper Pub - Boise 8:00 PM
• The Spirit Bar - Cambridge 8:00 PM
• Shoppers Cafe - Waltham 8:00 PM
• Coaches Sports Grill - Albuquerque 9:00 PM
• Greenhouse Bar - Nashville 8:00 PM
• Nomad Bar - Austin 8:00 PM
• Strange Brew - Austin 7:30 PM
• Capital Bar - Fort Worth 7:00 PM
• Christian's Tailgate (Heights) - Houston 8:00 PM
• The Maple Leaf Pub - Houston 8:00 PM
• TRUELOVE - Waco 8:00 PM
• Lumpy's Downtown - Salt Lake City 8:00 PM
• Rapture - Charlottesville 8:00 PM
• Merchants Cafe and Saloon - Seattle 8:00 PM
• The Highliner Pub - Seattle 8:00 PM
• The Ram Restaurant & Brewery (Tacoma) - Tacoma 8:30 PM