Another HUGE night at Cedar Creek.  Great to see so many faces, old and new, shining back at me in the sweaty glow of Pub Quiz.  

R1 tonight was an easy one titled Stars & Stripes.  Red Stripe is from Jamaica; Le Mans stripes belong on cars and Stripe was the main antagonist of Gremlins, created by being fed after midnight.   What the fuck kind of instruction is that, btw?  How can you NOT feed after midnight as it is ALWAYS 'after' the last midnight that occurred.  Wouldn't it have been clearer to say, "Don't Feed between 12:00 and 5:00am on any given day"?  Scores were really good here with Lululemon Party, The Brunch Club: Dragon Unit, How I Met Your Mothra, Big Ass Cupcakes, and Filthy, Disease-Bearing, Motherless, Poxy Bastard all pulling perfect scores.

R2 brought us our first audio round which posed the age-old premise that Opposites Attract.  No, not a whole round on Paula Abdul but, rather, pairs of songs whose titles contradict each other.  While Lionel Richie says Hello, N'Snyc says Bye Bye Bye; while Ben E. King asks for you to Stand By Me, The Police demand you Don't Stand So Close to Me.  Awesome. Scores were super-great in this round with Jokers falling like rain and every single team in double digits.  Props to The Brunch Club: Dragon Unit, Boats & Hoes, and Destiny's Red-Headed Stepchild who all pulled perfect scores here.

R3 was a quick round on Yiddish Words.  Oy Vey!  Fermisht means confusion, not hunger; you can tell cuz it sounds like 'famished' and no Yiddish word sounds anything like any other real word, so that choice was clearly wrong. To clarify the difference between Meshuga and Meshugana: Meshuga means 'crazy', a Mushagana is specifically a crazy person.  I was disappointed that neither Schlemiel nor Schlimazel were on the list as they are my favorite Yiddish words; Fakakta being a close second. Four teams, 99 Red Mylar Balloons, Big Ass Cupcakes, Filthy, Disease-Bearing, Motherless, Poxy Bastard and Hermaphrodite Barbie Comes in Her Own Box and grabbed perfect scores here.  Nana would be proud.

R4, I Bet You Think This Book is About You, asked you to identify titles based on a description of the main character or characters. I know, after the last literature debacle, I should know better than to ask you guys these kind of questions but I keep hoping that if I persist, SOMEONE in the room will pick up a fucking book and read it.  This plan, alas, has not really caught on but I remain hopeful that, sat some point in the future, people will know the difference between Frankenstein and Slaughterhouse Five. Scores were totally shitty though.  Congrats to Big Ass Cupcakes, Filthy, Disease-Bearing, Motherless, Poxy Bastard, Hermaphrodite Barbie Comes in Her Own Box, Lululemon Party, How I Met Your Mothra, Hey Kim, Imma Let You Finish But Beyonce Had the Best Labor Ever and I've Been Saying it…. for picking up perfect scores here.  

R5, Science is Everywhere, was about chemical compounds found in household cleaning items.  It wasn't until after the quiz that someone approached me to point out that what she thought might be an error on the sheet.  FINALLY!  I was notified of the error early in the day but, rather than telling you it was there, I decided to see who would be the first to ask about it.  Well, the answer is, ALMOST NO ONE.  Chris came up after the quiz to ask about it but that's it.  THERE WAS A FUCKING WRONG ANSWER IN YOUR FACE ALL NIGHT and no one even noticed!  Fantastic. Scores were great here which probably doesn't indicate that you're good at Math but, rather that you're good at process of elimination. Congrats to : Filthy, Disease-Bearing, Motherless, Poxy Bastard, Hermaphrodite Barbie Comes in Her Own Box, Lululemon Party, How I Met Your Mothra, Hey Kim, Imma Let You Finish But Beyonce Had the Best Labor Ever, I've Been Saying it…., The Brunch Club: Dragon Unit, Neuticles, 99 Red Mylar Balloons, If you Don't Swim in the Ocean, The Shark Terrorists Win, Lance Armstrong's Remaining Testicle, Just What We Need, A Female Version of Kanye, None of the Above, Better Luck Next Year Miss Utah, Fast & the Furious, and Wecome to the World Baby Kimye for bagging perfect scores here.

R6 as a grab bag titled Huey, Dewey or Louie.  Does NO ONE remember Baby Huey?  He was a disturbing character for the cartoons of my youth.  He appears to be a grown duck who, for some reason, has the mind of a 3 year old and the bonnet and diaper tom match.  In my theory, it's probably Fetal Alcohol Syndrome that fried his brain but one can never be sure.  Just know it's super-awkward and move along.  This was our first round without a perfect score with Lululemon Party, 99 Red Mylar Balloons, If you Don't Swim in the Ocean, The Shark Terrorists Win and Just What We Need, A Female Version of Kanye, leading the round with 6 points each.

R7 asked you to Tip Your TV Waitstaff.  I played clips featuring waitstafff from TV shows, you just name the TV show..  Easy Peasy!  It's a special kind of person who watches True Blood AND remembers Alice.  A very special person indeed, generally called a 'homosexual'.  Here's a list of them from last night: 99 Red Mylar Balloons, The Brunch Club: Dragon Unit, How I Met Your Mothra, Filthy, Disease-Bearing, Motherless, Poxy Bastard.  You can tell they have a homo on their team due to their perfect scores and witty team names.

Add in the Random Knowledge of R8 and you've got a GAME!

It was a close one, right up to the end with Lululemon Party and The Brunch Club duking it out all night with Mothra and 99 Balloons right behind them.  In the end, however, it was Lululemon Party who bagged the gold tonight with The Brunch Club: Dragon Unit in 2nd.  How I Met Your Mothera one the tiebreaker for 3rd.

Great to see everyone and hope to see you next week!

It was a HUGE night for us at Quiz.  25 teams!  When I sent the Facebook announcement inviting everyone to drop by, I didn't realize that EVERYONE would.  Welcome aboard, feel free to come back and bring friends…but only the sexy ones.

We started out gentle with an easy round titled Gimme a BJ.  All you had to do was name the BJ in each question…easy peasy!  The hardest one turned out to be Canon's trademarked name for their printers.  If you've ever owned a Bubble Jet, the name probably wasn't alien to you everyone else, however, had to guess like maniacs: Black Jet, Blue Jet, Black Jerry, Butter Jam and Bubba Jones are all incorrect, yet valiant answers. I should have known it was going to be one of those nights when 8 teams tied with perfect scores here.  Congrats to Lululemon Party, How I Met Your Mothra, Ochocinco's Ass Slap, I Pity the Fool Reading My Emails, Drinkers with a Teaching Problem, Neuticles, Sandusky's School of Mutton Bustin', and Drunk Naked and Driving a Zamboni.

R2 was an audio round called DJ Sammy Hates Your Ears.  This round consisted of some of your favorite songs, blanched and sanitized for your protection with incredibly bland, euro-trance dance beats.  Truly horrible. Teams were either in or out on this one with some scoring REALLY well and some doing not good.  No middle ground here.  Congrats to Lululemon Party and How I Met Your Mothra who both posted perfect scores with jokers to assert themselves as the clear winners.  Who will be the top tonight?  We'll have to wait and see.

R3 was titled Sooner or Later: Vrooom!  Perhaps the easiest round I've ever read, I listed some models of cars, you just had to give me the maker.  Seriously, it doesn't get easier than this. Apparently, you guys agree with 6 teams posting perfect scores for double points and jokers falling dropping like Facebook's stock price. Congrats to Lululemon Party, How I Met Your Mothra, Ochocinco's Ass Slap, Double Entrende, Fish Tacos, and I Wish This Microphone Was a Dick for scooping up 16 here.

R4 brought us a round on pranks, goofs and shit that didn't really pan out called JK! LOL! Yes, Justin Bieber hosted Punk'd at some point and the Fleischmann-Pons Reaction was basically a big lie.  Also, few remember that it was Joe Biden who referred to Barak Obama as 'articulate, bright and clean' like it was a big surprise.  Congrats to Neuticles and I Swear to Godzilla for remembering that and, therefore, posting perfect scores here.

R5, Better Holmes and Watsons, was a visual round on people who have played those iconic characters.  It's great that so many have played them but, note to Hollywood, Lucy Liu put that shit to bed.  We never need another Watson now.  It's done.  She owned it.  You're finished, thank you. Congrats to another monstrous pair, I Swear to Godzilla and How I Met Your Mothra for using their intimate knowledge of British actors to pull off perfect scores here.

R6, Foiled Again!, brought us questions about, well, foil.  Yes, Rapier is a French word but in Olympic competition, the Eppe is preferred.  It's called "Reynold's Wrap" for a reason.  The common saying is about something going over like a LEAD balloon, not a mylar one.  Although, that COULD totally work as a witty reply.  "Hey, how did employees react when you gave them that huge bonus?" "It went over like a mylar balloon."  Use it in your own life today and see how it files. Congrats to Ochocinco's Ass Slap and I Pity the Fool Reading My Emails for posting perfect scores here.

R7 was our second audio round and featured a clip from the Bloodhound Gang with 8 questions that nothing to do with that clip.  The secret here is that the clip actually contained all the correct answers, just not in the context of these specific questions.  I am so sneaky.  Also, it gave us an opportunity to listen to the Bloodhound Gang and that's a good thing.  Only Drinkers with a Teaching Problem grabbed a perfect score here…everyone else was too busy singing along to pay attention.

Add in the Random Knowledge of R8 and you've got a GAME!  In the end, two of our Rumble teams were busy beating the shit out of each other to win the night with Lululemon Party pulling it out in the end leaving How I Met Your Mothra settling for 2nd place.  Ochocinco's Ass Slap came in third edging out I Swear to Godzilla, a team with two other Quizmasters on it.  Good job guys!  (Ochocinco, that is.  Not Godzilla, you guys suck.)

Big thanks to English Matt who jumped in as scorekeeper to get us going.

Remember to check out the Rumble and register your team to start earning points.  I mean, who DOESN'T want an excuse to go get drunk in Austin!?!?!?

Holy shit biscuits!  19 teams up in the house last night and everyone was in it to win it.  Except for one team whose team name clearly advertises their apathy, can you guess which one?  In any case, we still welcome them with open arms to our motley crew.

R1 started out easy with a round on Duh TV.  Here's a small hint, when I REALLY emphasize words in a question, you should probably take that as a hint.  As in, 'Reporters spent TWO DAYS with crackheads in the TV that led to what news show?'   You see how the answer, 48 Hours, is right there?  Yes, sometimes I give you the answers, you just have to listen for them. Only How I Met Your Mothra picked up a perfect score on this one.

R2 was the Sound of Color, a round on music with colors in the titles and artists.  This went REALLY well with everyone catching on to Pink, Macy Gray, Green Day and Bobby Brown.  I was super surprised/impressed that so many people knew Supermassive Black Hole.  I thought Muse was more underground than that….guess I'll start hating them now.  Of the 19 teams, 15 were in double digits here and 14 threw down jokers but only Its that a Tampon in Your Pocket or Are You Bloody Happy to See Me? scored a perfect 16.  Thanks for your enthusiasm and your 3rd grade humor.

R3 was a quick round on Cinematic Jail Bait.  I name an actor playing a teenager and you tell me if they were older or younger than 18 at the time.  Here's a pro tip: if I ask you to tell me if something is older or younger, fucking write 'older' or 'younger' for an answer; not under/over, legal/notlegal, random numbers or up and down arrows.  If you are super fucking lazy, you could just write 'o' or 'y' since that's what I'm actually looking for when I'm grading anyway.  When I'm grading these things in a super harried pace, any other answer becomes a pain in the ass and jeopardizes your score in the fact that I don't want to have to translate your notations and pretty much just give you a score off the top of my head.  Also, Cameron was 29 years old when they shot Ferris Bueller.  Holy shit.  Like Tom Cruise, almost everyone screwed up with Katie Holmes leaving us with a 5-way tie for the lead with 7 points each.  Congrats to Team Us: My One Brain vs. All of Yours, Don't Check My Browser History, Rosa Parks Didn't Call Shotgun, Game of Thrones Spoiler: Everyone Dies and The Kevorkians for their superior jailbait knowledge.

R4, Udder Bullshit, was a round on cattle.  No, a Scotsman doesn't hold the Guinness Record for Cow Tipping.  There IS NO Record for cow tipping, mainly because it's not a real thing.  Oh SURE, everyone you fucking know tells people that they've done this but they are all liars. These people don't know shit about cows and, potentially, have never been within 50 feet of one.  Let's put aside the facts that cows weight a metric fuck ton (1500 pounds-ish) and, for their size, are fairly nimble on keeping on their feet but, instead, focus on the fact that COWS SLEEP LAYING DOWN.  Anyone who has ever been on a farm could tell you that when you're talking about your cow tipping adventures but, instead, we just choose to chuckle at your expense and silently judge you as a big phony. Also, don't fall for 'sweetbread' on the menu at a fancy place.  There is nothing 'sweet' or 'bread-like' going on there. This is a mistake you will only make once. Being versed in all aspects of animal husbandry, Sandusky and the School of Mutton Bustin' led the round with a perfect score.

R5 was a round on the native dress of other places.  This required you to know things like Dirndl, Fez and Sari, no so hard.  Even the Tam O'Shanter was pretty easy to spot.  Perfect scores about with Sandusky and the School of Mutton Bustin', Pants Off - Dance Off, Don't Check My Browser History, Walder Fry is Pro-Choice as Long as it's His Choice, Is That a Tampon In Your Pocket or Are You Bloody Happy to See Me?, Cool Whip, Team Us: My One Brain vs. All of Yours, Game of Thrones Spoiler: Everyone Dies, and Spartans all bagging 8 points.

R6, Brides, Burning and Bridge Burning was pretty self-explanatory but I was still appalled at the lack of questions on Todd Bridges.  What chu talkin' bout Willis?  Congrats on knowing Bridge Over the River Kwai, the film Alec Guinness WISHES you remembered him for.  in case you're not in the know, Guinness HATED Star Wars and only did the film because Lucas had a boner for him.  He refused the role and the studio kept sweetening the deal winding up with a percentage fixed on the director's pay.  Also part of the deal, negotiated in advance, was that he would not be required or asked to do any promotional appearances for the film.  During script development, he encouraged Lucas to kill off Obi-Wan under the guise that it would make the character a more powerful figure in the movie.  His actual feeling, however, is that he needed to get the fuck away from this franchise which was taking over his entire persona and killing off the character was the only way out.  There, now you've learned something today. Congrats to Sandusky and the School of Mutton Bustin' who burned it up with a perfect score here.  

R7 was a round of Famous Last Words from film.  No, it doesn't matter what the single word in that one clip was, if you don't recognize the score from the Godfather, that word wasn't going to help.  Also, shame on you for knowing 500 Days of Summer. Congrats to Rosa Parks Didn't Call Shotgun for leading this one with 7 points.

Add in the Random Knowledge round and we've got a GAME!

Slow but steady, Sandusky and the School of Mutton Bustin' won the night by a margin of 2 points over Is That a Tampon In Your Pocket or Are You Bloody Happy to See Me?  Pants Off - Dance Off took third edging out How I Met Your Mothra by a single point with None of the Above and Well, At Least Tony Stark is Still Alive splitting the TBall Award.

See you next week for more fun, more shenanigans and MORE BEER!

• Chilkoot Charlie's - Anchorage 7:30 PM
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