Seriously, have you ever seen the music video for She-Wolf? Those are not dance moves that come from a human. Or a wolf. There are actuators and pistons and camshafts and other mechanical buzzwords responsible for those movements. I think "eternal creature" is code for "undying, unstoppable, Columbian music robot."

But enough about my neuroses - you fine people had a quiz last night! 16 teams enter, three teams leave [with prizes], no holds barred DESTRUCT-O-POCALYPSE. Here's the aftermath:

The Notorious H.O.R.K. tied for second, but needs to brush up on their legendary songwriter knowledge. Third place for you!

The Shenanigans clearly know their legendary songwriters, as they answered the tie-breaker question in approximately 2.7 seconds. Second place!

That leaves my favorite team name to say, Bill Cosby Benghazi Theory, in first place for the evening. I will now spend the rest of the day quietly repeating "Cosby Benghazi" to myself.

Nate will be back next week, but thanks again for being the wonderful human beings quizzers I have come to expect. Cheers!

Some of you came for the fish and chips. Some of you came for the Colorado Rockies game. And some of you came to watch something called haw-key? (Seriously, Leave Us Alone, We're Watching Hockey, what the fuck were you trying to pull?) But all of you played. And all of you played until the end, which is a bonafide miracle. 

Usually teams show up and get quite tickled about the prospect of playing a pub quiz. The first couple of questions seem easy enough and they decide to plug in. But once the quiz gets harder and standings are read off, we tend to lose at least one team. But not you, goddammit. You crazy bastards stuck with it through thick and thin. And by god, you were amazing. Nineteen teams entered. Nineteen teams left unscathed. (Except for Couches Pull Out, We Don't who may or may not have been made fun of for their inability to pick a creative team name.) So, here's to you Three Lions pub quiz attenders for being so fucking classy.

Too Gay To Function, our winners of last week's gay quiz, nearly pulled off the repeat, but lost out to Charles Ramsey Rescued Us. Thanks for playing ladies! Who knew you could be 10 years behind in popular culture and still come out ahead? Meanwhile, Where the Wildlings Are took third place. And I really have nothing clever to say about that.

So. Yeah.

Too Gay to Function was the name of the WINNING TEAM last night at Three Lions Pub. But this wasn't the only thing that this gay team won today. No sirree. Yesterday, Colorado legalized CIVIL UNIONS. This means homosexual and heterosexual couples alike can become civil unionized and live happily every after. Fucking awesome, right? This is why Colorado is awesome. Well, this and the mountains and the sunshine and the pot and the microbrews. 

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM