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Devil's Daughter
533 South 500 West
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Mondays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
8:39 AM, June 18, 2013
Scores
#OLDBALLZ 86
CREATE EDUCATION BETTER! 83
THE NSA KNOWS OUR TEAM NAME 77
LONG DUCK SCHLONG 76
THE RAMBLING MISS UTAHS 76
Exo Squad was underrated.
Boba Fatt


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Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm A Bar Named Sue (State)- Tuesdays @ 8pm Willies Lounge- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will die alone.

Hey all, I'm doing another vlog for the...blog. Anyway, I guess it will continue to be a trial by fire as I fuck up and cut off my mouth. In case you were wondering, yes, I am filming this inside of a mental hospital cell. That's why the walls are all white and the small window doesn't allow for anything but the faintest of light sources.

If you'd like to help decorate it, donate art and stuff to me. No, seriously.

I took this opportunity to talk about Exo Squad, which was replaced by Baby Huey (which was part of our round 6 on Hueys, Deweys, and Louies). Believe me, you need to watch all of Exo Squads episodes for free online here. 

Congratulations to #oldballz for taking first after a very close game and good luck to them for the rest of the week! See you next time!

Devil's Daughter
533 South 500 West
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Mondays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
11:47 AM, June 11, 2013
Scores
HACK THE PLANET! 87
MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS A CUNNING LINGUIST 85
MERMINOTAURS 83
BAD ASS 83
THE BOSTON TEBOW PARTY 79
#OLDBALLZ 78
IMPROVISED INTRAUTERINE DEVICE 70
Speaking of intrauterine...
Boba Fatt


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Web

Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm A Bar Named Sue (State)- Tuesdays @ 8pm Willies Lounge- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will die alone.

Our last place team Improvised Intrauterine Device has brought on this story.

It was January, the same month I had dropped out of high school. I had just finished my 400 hour mandatory apprenticeship, as well as my Bloodbourne Pathogens, Infection Control, and adult CPR classes. I already did my needle test on my trainer, so it was time for my first customer.

Being 18, I had a lot of girls from high school who were getting their parents permission for the guy from high school to do their piercings, some that would have had nothing to do with the crazy long haired metal musician geek but were somehow at ease with a familiar face. I put out some calls to let them know I could do piercings now, and at only $5 if it was my first time doing it.

It was just after lunch after making a few calls to people I knew wanted to get pierced when I got my first customer.

Let me introduce to you Hard-On Harry, the 72 year old man.

Why did I choose to name him this? It's because Mr. Harry decided he wanted to be nice and solid for whoever got to handle his decrepit dong. There was a little sadness in his (one)eye when it was suggested I do it by my cute teacher, but then he said 'what the hell' when he was told the difference in cost was about $45. Show me an old person that turns down a 95% coupon on anything besides interracial wedding catering, I'll show you a liar.

Harry wanted a prince albert, hence his pill usage. After I set my sterile field and marked my needle trajectory with gentian violet (a dye I used), I got his receiving tube and jewelry ready.

OK, let me not get ahead of myself. So, for a prince albert piercing, I slide a receiving tube the size of a catheter down the urethra so when I push the needle through, it doesn't go all the way through, apadravya style. The needle then comes out the opening of the tube, which is sticking out of the urethra opening.

When I normally slide in this tube, people go soft. Mr. Harry did not. I advised him that this would hurt a lot more more if he was hard. He said that erection wasn't really going anywhere.

Awesome.

So I said "Take a deep breath," and as he did, I shoved the needle in. Piercing needles are hollow if you didn't know so we can fit the jewelry in the back and follow it up as one seamless transition. Well, because Mr. Harry was fully erect, that hollow needle turned into a blood super soaker.

A long stream of blood shot out immediately, narrowly missing my cheek because of my position and hit the wall behind me with an audible thwack. My trainer, thankfully remaining calm and understanding I hadn't just murdered the man, told me to get the jewelry in, now. I got the ring flush with the blood lubed back and guided it through after removing the receiving tube. A little bit of opener pressure and I slipped in the captive bead for the ring.

The ring is fortunately acting like a plug right now, but it's still beading with blood. I'm doing my best to wipe around it with sterile gauze before setting him up with a jury-rigged dick turban when I hear him proudly proclaim, "Wait till the nurses see this at the nursing home" in a sort of hushed epiphany.

The worst part though wasn't the blood money shot or the pulsing grandpa girth as I got him cleaned up to put back in his pleated highwaters.

It was not getting a tip afterwards.

That was my "first day" on the job as a piercer.

***

Congratulations to Hack The Planet! See you all next week!

Devil's Daughter
533 South 500 West
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Mondays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
1:43 PM, June 04, 2013
Scores
DOES JOHN SWALLOW 78
#OLDBALLZ 72
MY LITTLE BRONIES 70
I GOT MY POWER BOTTOM MERIT BADGE AT PRIDE 69
FLASHMOB ENTHUSIASTS 67
MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY 58
PORK TACO ALL OVER ME CARA! 56
TEAM RUMPLEFORESKINS 50
BUMPER BUDDIES 41
JAMAICAN BOBSLED TEAM 13
Hashtag. Hashbrowns. Whatever.
Boba Fatt


Facebook
Web

Quiz Schedule
The Devil's Daughter- Mondays @ 8pm A Bar Named Sue (State)- Tuesdays @ 8pm Willies Lounge- Wednesdays @ 7:30pm 		Jesse Brake (Boba Fatt)

I'm a former body piercer and radio personality from South Carolina. Growing up in the Deep South, I learned early on that everyone was a piece of shit and the only things deserving of my love were basset hounds and terrible music.

I moved to Utah in 2005 and became an AFTDA certified roller derby announcer, as well as "King of Blog Shit Mountain" for Geeks Who Drink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You will die alone.

Hey all. I'm trying out something new. Do me a favor and give the video a look when you can. There is a random curse word here and there, but is mostly safe for work. Congratulations to Does John Swallow? and see you next week!

Link to Dir en grey blog

Link to Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez video

Link to Game of Thrones quiz details

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