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Biker Jim's
2148 Larimer street
Denver, CO 80202
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7:29 AM, January 20, 2012


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I Tebowed My Late-Term Fetus	85

Belmont Transfer	65

Brainy Beavers	64

We're Here	64

Keeping Up With the Jones'	27

It was a Thing That Happened

Quizma$ter$ of the Univer$e

This will be my last Biker Jim’s blog. I just want to say thanks to the quizzers for coming out and to the staff for making me fatter with their amazing wieners. It’s definitely a little bittersweet, and I’m not really sure what I think about it. But as Semisonic once told us, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end or some bullshit. Whatever, I’ll see you guys around.

Biker Jim's
2148 Larimer street
Denver, CO 80202
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2:46 PM, January 13, 2012


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I Tebowed My Late-Term Fetus	75

Ginger Ginas	50

G-Roy	48

Stand By Your Manatee	17

RRCC	13

Ask Me About My Wiener	9

Fractals are Those Things You See When You’ve Taken Just the Right Amount of Mushrooms

Quizma$ter$ of the Univer$e

When we’re training new quizmasters, as was the case last night with Sarah, protocol states that we’re supposed to make them do all of our bitch work, scoring and whatnot. But lucky for Sarah I had a bunch of pencils I needed sharpened by hand with my shitty nostril pencil sharpener. This was my plan to break her, but apparently as breaking plans go, it was unsuccessful. Sarah, our newest quizmaster (or quizmistress, if you want to be all technical about it) refused to be deterred by taskmasterism and made it through with only minor contusions and a treatable case of carpel tunnel syndrome. I think she’ll do just fine.

In other news, holy shit, I Tebowed My Late Term Fetus not only brought the best team name of the night, they also won by a staggering 25 points. Consider me impressed, or something.

Ok, I’ve got to go and have a protracted conversation with Comcast about how they’re really fucking me over with this whole wifi failure that’s has plagued my house for the last two days. And then I might light some cars on fire in their parking lot, just to make myself feel better. Until next week … Unless I’m in lockup.

Biker Jim's
2148 Larimer street
Denver, CO 80202
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1:22 PM, January 06, 2012


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Unicorn Bukkake	81

Ravenclaw Your Slytherin	73

Krump Busters	70

Poopship Destroyer	63

Gnawledge	59

Glory Hole to Norway	57

Baby Fish Mouth	50

Greendale Human Beings	49

Pink Coco Puffs	12

Wish Someone Would Burn Nickleback to the Ground

Quizma$ter$ of the Univer$e

Do you think it will be cool for hipsters 30 years from now to ironically like Nickleback? Think about it: You’d be hard-pressed to find a shitty musical trend from the 80’s that isn’t revered ironically by at least some twenty-somethings today. Hall and Oates spring immediately to mind. (Seriously, when did it become ok to put Darryl Hall and John Oates on some kind of pedestal like they were a legitimate soul band? They were a joke for as long as I can remember.) Or has Nickleback reached such a stratospheric level of awful that to even like them ironically in 30 years would break the very concept of irony? There aren’t many things that make me want to stick around for 30 more years, but this is a question I would like an answer to.

Speaking of closing in on our demises, Evil Rob celebrated being one year closer to the grave with his 35^th birthday last night. He’s the big bald gentleman in the glasses. I’m glad he’s like a week older than me so he can be my canary-in-the-old-person-coal-mine, so to speak. Hey, Rob, how’s it looking down there? Any shortness of breath or stiffness in the limbs? If it turns out he gets sick and dies down in the depths of the 35^th year, I’ll just make sure to stay 34. Don’t want to take any chances.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got in me for this one. I’ll be monitoring Rob’s condition closely over the next week to see if turning 35 is a good idea or not. In the mean time, don’t look behind you because you really don’t want to see the horrible thing that’s sneaking up on you.

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