San Antonio’s Hottest Quiz is Geeks Who Drink at Lion and Rose Park North. Located behind that magic train station from Harry Potter, the password is “haberdashery”. This little English muffin is owned by British ex-porn star Benedick Cumbersnatch and it has it all: live quizzes, overgrown hobbits, a sober James Bond, and several Doctor Hoos. That’s that thing where a bunch of owls are tied together in a long scarf.

This pub is the place to be on Wednesday nights with teams like Gary Busy Can Be My Buddy Holly Any Day, Snarky Koalas, and who’s that over there, Yes, it’s In First Place with 39 Points, who came in 6^th.Stick around after the Quiz for Human Teatime. That’s that thing where a midget is covered in teabags and jumps in the hot tub.

James’ Funniest Team Name Award: Gary Busy Can Be My Buddy Holly Any Day

James’ Funniest Answer Award goes to Snarky Koalas for their answer to Round 1 Question 5: “Stefon bid farewell to Saturday Night Live last weekend, along with what cast member who played him?” of “Quizmaster” (Correct Answer: Bill Hader)

The life of a Quizmaster is fraught with peril. Unexpected, random peril that can leave a man twisted… crazy. Some would say... insane. But they would be wrong. Dead wrong. Once again, James had… important other matters to take care of and the great Quizmaster Lex was summoned to cover by the dark rituals of beer enticement. Deliciously dark rituals.

Not to worry, though. James is in a cool, dark place, where shadows can be heard, and shouts can be seen. If you are able to solve the riddle of his location in three guesses, he will be released to you unharmed. If you pay attention closely to the clues, his fate will be revealed. Only the bold will know for sure.

The way may be hard and bitter, but nothing to slow this Quizmaster down. Whatever problems may arise, Quizmaster Lex was able to solve them using nothing but string, three paperclips, and a lump of cornbread “concealed” amongst his person.

And the cornbread isn’t for eating.

Apparently not many Redditors are amongst our Geeks Who Drink participants, as very few could tell what subReddits were real and which were not. This makes sense, as I figure most Redditors are too busy on Reddit to leave the house. The best scores were allotted to the people who knew the internet best and simply filled in every answer as “true.”  No matter how ridiculous something sounds, it's still probably on the internet somewhere.

Popular answer choices included “Hitler,” who showed up on several different teams’ answers for different rounds, as well as “your mom,” who seems to crop up more and more these days. While “The Guy From Big Fish” is technically correct answer for Ewan McGregor, I simply wasn’t able to give credit, the same for “The Commissioner from Dark Knight.” Best answer for the night goes to “The Lion and the Rose on May 15^th” instead of the true answer, “Purgatory,” to poke fun at the Quizmaster’s struggle. Hilarious. Well, I Wish This Microphone Was a Penis, congratulations. Now have a nice bite of this apple…

While neck and neck through most of the night, You Ruined My Fucking Night pulled out ahead, snagging first place from the hands of Tequila Mockingbirds in the final rounds. Five Balls Four Boobs are not to be forgotten, taking the respectable bronze along with my prize for “Best Name to Think about Twice. Frank + Beaners wins the award for “most literal,” as well as “most blatantly racist.” The award for “team whose name must have come from reading my mind” goes to the duo of I Wish This Microphone Was a Penis. Finally, the “honesty” award goes to I don’t care, I just want to Play.

The winds… they howl my name. I must return. Until next time.

Watch your pants.

The title of today’s blog post comes from Round One Question 7 which asked what the second R in Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin stood for. You could choose it to be Richard, Ronald, or Reginald. I proclaimed it to be a trick question and announced that it stood for George Rick Ross Martin. Obviously, that isn’t true but imagine how much better those shows and books would be if it was.

James’ Funniest Team Name Award: Whatever Happened to Norm McDonald?

James’ Funniest Answer Award goes to You, Me, Bacon, Beer for their answer to Round 6 Question 8: “What king of Mycenae waged the Trojan War and survived, only to return home to be murdered by his wife?” of “Peter Griffin” (Correct Answer: Agamemnon)

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