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Blue Star Cafe & Pub
4512 Stone Way North
Seattle, WA 98103
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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3:57 PM, March 24, 2015
Scores
All I want for my birthday is A big booty hoe and champagne 82

A Team Named Slickback 80

Ballard Board Games 79

Djangus Roundstone (The D is Silent) 78

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch kids on the block 76

Arrrrrrrrrr 74

Things Fall Apart 72

Loose Seals 71

Not Great, Bob! 69

Van Buren Boys 65

Bewbs 59

Where's Melissa 57

Looking For Group 41

Ivan the Adequate


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Quiz Schedule
Mondays (8pm) @ Blue Star Cafe & Pub
Ivan (Ivan the Adequate)

So X Files is coming back for a limited run of six new episodes (yay)! 

Also, the Nintendo CEO is denying now-a-month-and-a-half-old reports that Netflix is developing a live-action Zelda series (boo).

You can’t win ‘em all, I suppose. Personally, I was far more excited about the latter. Yes, the recent precedent of age-old franchises (Twin Peaks, Ghostbusters, etc.) roaring back to life is great, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t ready to cross my fingers and eagerly wait for a stellar adaptation of Ocarina of Time. 

It’s not at all an unpopular opinion to say that Ocarina was my favorite Zelda game, but I’ll go on a limb here and say that I think it ultimate turned out to be a story first and a video game second. At least for me, nothing in gaming prior to that installment had ever presented us with such a sweeping and dynamic narrative. Told with the right pacing and appropriate number of episodes, it could easily turn out to be the best fantasy miniseries of all time.

So hopefully the earlier reports were accurate and we’re going to see that world come to life (at least with more depth than N64 graphics were able to provide. I remember when the news of the adaptation first broke: I had just landed in Albuquerque for Geek Bowl with a slew of fellow quizmasters, and we were waiting for the hotel shuttle, when I saw the reports come up on my Twitter feed. My eyes widened. 

“Guys,” I said, “there’s some BIG NEWS.” And I told them. They went just as nuts as I did.

Don’t take this away from me, Nintendo.

Homework for this week’s quiz: Grocery stores. Visit them more often. Cook meals for lunch and dinner instead of eating out. You’ll save more money than you’d think. Seriously.

Blue Star Cafe & Pub
4512 Stone Way North
Seattle, WA 98103
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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11:41 PM, March 16, 2015
Scores
A Team Named Slickback 80

Movie Cat 74

Dr Spaceman 70

David and the Athenboroughs 67

Sally Sells Seashells 67

It's Doggie Time 66

Chitty Chitty Chang Chang 65

Boobs 65

Shirly Temples 63

Wu Tang is for the children 63

Seattle DO Pig; Seattle do 62

Loose Seals 62

Fists of Fury 61

Vicious+Delicious 61

Live Free or Pie Hard 59

Don't Tell Carlos 58

Odd Man Out 57

Not Great Bob 54

Where in the world is Vladimir Santiago? 54

Team Skullet 50

Ivan the Adequate


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Mondays (8pm) @ Blue Star Cafe & Pub
Ivan (Ivan the Adequate)

Let’s talk about the giant turd of a movie that is Troop Beverly Films.

Currently sitting at a well-deserved 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, this abortion of a motion picture is one that almost everyone who has seen it has done so while flipping through channels sometime in the last 20 years before coming across it on a basic cable channel on a Saturday afternoon. It stands out for me as one of the first movies I ever sat through (back when I was in the single digits) that made me think, “Well, that’s just shitty storytelling right there.”

It opens exactly how you expect it to: the protagonist, Shelly Long’s character, is a spoiled, lazy, gold-digging Southern Californian shopaholic who would probably be really comical and endearing were it not for the fact that people like her actually exist. Her husband is getting ready to divorce her for the aforementioned reasons (there’s a wonderfully outdated line where he remarks that after he leaves her without his wealth for her to feed off, she’ll be shopping at Pick ‘N’ Save). To prove him wrong, she becomes the den mother of her daughter’s girl scout troop in order to demonstrate the sense of character that her husband feels she has lost throughout their marriage.

AND IT WORKS! Skip ahead to the end of the movie (and I really do recommend skipping most of it): after selling some cookies and winning some competitions, the husband is impressed enough to call off the divorce and reconcile.

And even at the tender age of eight or nine or so, I found myself thinking, “That’s…too easy. You can’t just fix a marriage like that. She’s getting rewarded for way too minor of an achievement. What happens once she steps out of her role with the troop? Isn’t she essentially just the same person she was before? THIS PROVED NOTHING.”

But hey, just to get a second opinion in, here’s a ten-star review from an IMDb user for comparison:

“Pure Silliness makes this one a classic. I loved it as a child and continue to watch it as I grow up I recommend this picture to anyone who enjoys a silly good time. Oh and they have to be able to stand Shelly Long, which I've noticed some people can't. Oh well their loss. Beverly Hills What A Thrill!!”

So make of that what you will.

Homework from this week’s quiz: Literally any other movie or TV show from that visual round. Everyone has seen Up, but Moonrise Kingdom should really be required viewing at this point as well. Hell, I’d rather watch whatever Full House episode that is five times in a row rather than sit through any movie with the word “Beverly” in its title every again – that ones with the chihuahuas were really the nail in the coffin. 

Blue Star Cafe & Pub
4512 Stone Way North
Seattle, WA 98103
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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Comment Now
11:14 PM, March 09, 2015
Scores
A Team Named Slickback 80

Wily 75

My First Devil's Three Way 74

The Derek Zoolander Team for Geeks Who Don't Quiz Good 72

Long Pork Taco 66

Red Anklets of Doom 65

Arrrrrrr 63

Bakula Future 63

Loose Seals 60

Boobs 55

Loose Seal Team 6 55

Team of Destiny 34

Colin's Coach Crew 2

Ivan the Adequate


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Quiz Schedule
Mondays (8pm) @ Blue Star Cafe & Pub
Ivan (Ivan the Adequate)

In lieu of having anything meaningful to write about, I'm just going to go ahead and continue my (completely unwarranted and petty) bitching about Colin.

He rejoined the quiz at the Blue Star last night as the official scorekeeper, and things didn’t go smoothly…because of course they wouldn’t.

Never mind the fact that he moseyed his way in with only five minutes left until the start of the quiz, which in my book (of fun) falls squarely into the category of “you almost could have been late.” 

Never mind the fact that it took him almost a month to go see Kingsman, which resulted in him testing my patience with regard to whether or not it was still a watercooler-worthy topic that I had any enthusiasm left for.

Never mind the fact that he ordered a cider while thinking he was ordering a beer.

The real point of contention came when he insisted that Raiders of the Lost Ark should under no circumstances ever be considered “Indiana Jones 1,” since it was never released that way. My counterpoint was that the film has indeed been marketed as Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, which could fairly be considered the first Indy film and thus labeled as such.

I eventually let him have that one, but it opened up a greater debate about Star Wars and whether or not the film that is now known as Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope can still be referred to (under quiz rules) as simply Star Wars, since it was definitely originally released as such. He refused to budge on this one, insiting that the latter title is now incorrect any any of the films must have a roman numeral included in their title to be correctly labeled.

What a damn hypocrite.

Homework from this week’s quiz: Neil Gaiman’s “American God.” It’s the perfect contemporary fantasy epic. Supposedly Starz is continuing to develop a TV series adaptation (because HBO eventually dropped it) and they’re likely going to ruin everything, so go enjoy it while it’s still pure and unspoiled.

Until next week.

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