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Frontier Room
2203 1st Avenue
Seattle, WA 98121

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2:02 PM, January 12, 2012


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Scores

Ludicrous Speed	78

Pussy On a Hot Tin Roof	69

SMRT	69

Purple Pinapples	57

Can't Get Pregnant If It's In the Mouth	56

Meat is Delicious	52

Dr. Ray's Flying Hands	47

I Can't Cum If You're Crying	40

Dominique Sucks Dick	33

Hands Up Pants Down	33

The Old Stand-bys

Scotty, Herald of Galactus

With the future of the Frontier Room quiz somewhat up in the air, it was encouraging to see last night’s quiz focus on the old stand-bys, namely movies, video games, and making fun of people on Youtube. Tonight’s round 2 was a, dare I say, orgy of Youtube mediocrity, served up hot and primed for heckling. I’ve long felt that Youtube makes the case that democracy is the enemy of quality. Say what you will about the evil, old media, studio system, but at least you knew there was someone around to ask, “Should people, like, see this?” Granted, that person was probably a coked-up studio exec who just fumbled into the office following a long night of doing highballs with Lou Diamond Philips, but at least it’s something right? (Sidenote: I believe this is the only way anything with Bob Saget, Norm McDonald, and Whitney Cummings ever gets approved). Youtube is a different beast all together. With the means of production available to all there’s no one to watch your heartfelt cover of ‘My Heart Will Go On’ and say “That was real good kid, real good. But I don’t know if the mainstream is ready for bongo drum-centric covers of Celine Dion songs. Maybe in 2013. If the Mayans are right I mean.”

Tonight’s quiz also proved that what our quizzers lack in social skill they more than make up for in movie knowledge. Round 3’s film plots in reverse saw the highest number of perfect scores ever in a GWD round, although I think that may have had more to do with the movies in question than anything else. I’m not sure scores would have been so high if we’d had questions like this: “1963. Fabrizio Corbero’s noble family fortune continues to rise along with the rest of Sicily as Don Calogero Sedara falls into poverty and must divorce the beautiful Angelica.” That’s from ‘The Leopard’ by the way, Luchino Visconti’s 205-minute epic about the fall of traditional Sicilian nobility at the dawn of the 20^th Century. That you’ve never heard of.

Quiz last night saw a lot of new teams, mixed in with our old favorites. Purple Pineapples proved to be the surprise of the night, beating SMRT for second place in a sudden-death tie-breaker, while Ludicrous Speed scored a ridicu-balls 13 out of 16 points on Round 8 to take the top spot.

NOTE: Details are still emerging, but it looks like the Frontier Room quiz is going on hiatus. For how long I’m still not sure, however things are still developing and I’ll be updating the Facebook page as well as this post once I hear more. That said, I invite all our Frontier Room quizzers to join me at my other quiz down at Quarter Lounge, 909 Madison St. on First Hill, Tuesdays at 8:00pm. See you there!

“If we want things to stay as they are, things will have to change.” – Tancredi Falconeri, The Leopard

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Frontier Room
2203 1st Avenue
Seattle, WA 98121

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1:37 AM, January 05, 2012


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Scores

SMRT - Original Recipe	62

Ludicrous Speed	60

The Unemployables	56

Sit On My Facebook	51

Mama G	41

I Kissed Russell Brand and I Didn't Like It	41

Zombie Mr. Rodgers	36

Definition of a Hillbilly

Scotty, Herald of Galactus

Ah Hillbillies. One of America’s greatest natural treasures, and yet, still so misunderstood. What is a Hillbilly exactly? First, it’s important to understand what hillbillies are not. Hillbillies are not rednecks. Rednecks live in trailer parks and watch NASCAR every Sunday, while most likely wearing NASCAR-brand clothes and apparel. Hillbillies don’t get FOX Sports up there in the mountains and only venture out into civilization when ammo starts to run low. Hillbillies are also not hobos. While the two do share an appreciation for wide open spaces and a laid-back lifestyle, Hillbillies lack hobos fondness for riding across state lines in boxcars and carrying all their possessions in bindles. Also, Hillbillies are not vagrants. Hillbillies don’t know how to spell vagrant and would appreciate it if you keep yer damn college words in her damn mouth there son. So what is a Hillbilly? A Hillbilly is a simple person with simple pleasures, namely beer (from the can, bottles are too pricey), guns (gotta be ready for when Obama’s secret Anti-Values FBI Taskforce attacks the heartland), beards (Hillbilly women love the ‘lumberjack’ look) and banjos—especially banjos. And while Hillbillies see homosexuality as an affront to God, Country, and Dale Earnhardt, they would totally gay marry a banjo if they could.

Tonight’s audio round was a celebration of Hillbillies and their banjos. Quizzers had to identify popular songs as covered by Hillbilly bands who know that the best way to improve a song is to ditch the synthesizers and turn up the twang. Also, I think the fact that a hillbilly band covered the Scissor Sisters, a band so, let’s just say flamboyant, that they make Elton John look like Pantera, kind of makes it the greatest cover of all time.

Regular readers also know that tonight also marked the first week that the QUIZ WORLD TITLE was on the line, and the competition did not disappoint. Champions Ludicrous Speed squared off against challengers SMRT, Sit On My Facebook, and The Unemployables, all of whom stayed close to the top of the rankings all night. Victory however, belonged to SMRT who laid claim to first place and the championship belt—until next week at least.

“If it wasn't for that stupid raccoon we wouldn't be in this mess.” Hillybilly Jim, a Hillbilly

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Title History:

12/25/11-12/31/11: Ludicrous Speed

1/1/12-1/7/12: SMRT

Frontier Room
2203 1st Avenue
Seattle, WA 98121

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1:43 PM, December 29, 2011


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Scores

Ludicrous Speed	79

The Little Lebowski Urban Achievers	75

Stephanie Squared and the Duck	65

Team Chupacabra	65

Crow Hill Gang	64

Yay, My Friends	60

Zombie Mr. Rodgers	39

The Illustrious History of the Quiz World Title

Scotty, Herald of Galactus

Last night marks a historic swift in the history of the Frontier Room quiz. In the past teams competed for gift cards, cheap wine, and bragging rights. But all that has changed. Now something special is on the line. Now we have a championship. Yes, the Quiz World Championship Belt, the richest, most storied prize in all of quizzing has found its way to the Frontier Room. It’s a belt with history and prestige, whose legacy dates back to the earliest part of the twentieth century, when small groups of gentlenerds would gather in back alley speakeasies, drink illegal moonshine, ask each other silly questions about the troubling developments in Germany and not talk to girls.

Following the end of World War II, television swept the nation and competitive quizzing was primed to burst into the mainstream. All across America, families gathered around the tiny screen to watch such star-studded teams as the I Like Ike’s and Buddy Holly’s Last Plane Ride compete for quizzing glory on programs such as The Great American Quiz Show and Johnson’s Bath Towels presents The All-American Geek Showcase. It’s ironic then, that just as competitive quizzing was experiencing its greatest popularity it would suffer its greatest scandal. Leaked documents revealed that many of the quiz shows were rigged, with teams accepting bribes from bath towel executives to throw important quizzes. A federal investigation was launched which ultimately lead to the banning of many teams, including the Ike’s and The Buddy Holly’s. GAQS and JBTPTAAGS were quietly cancelled and fans were left to wonder if competitive quizzing would ever recover.

The 1960’s saw the rise of one of quizzing most legendary icons. Of course, I’m talking about Mohammad Merlin. Born Sylvester Perkins in Sweetwater, Michigan, Perkins was born to quiz, winning his first independent tournament at the tender age of three months, regardless of his inability to speak or even form cognizant thoughts. From there the man now-known-as the G.O.A.T. (due in part to his slopped forehead and pronounced nose) become the youngest world champion in history at age 20, restoring much of the prestige that the title had lost in years past. Controversy was not far away however, and Perkin’s career soon came to personify the struggle for geek rights that existed during those turbulent times. After refusing to participate in the US conflict between Northern and Southern Finland, Perkins was stripped of the world title and banned from competition. During this time, he converted to Islam, changed his man to Mohammad Merlin (after hula-hoop inventor Arthur “Spud” Merlin) and lobbied for reinstatement which he eventually earned in 1969.

The 70’s witnessed Merlin cement his legacy as the greatest of all time, highlighted by his rivalries with “Smokin’” Joseph Poindexter, a feud which spanned the globe from Zaire, to Manilla, to a scientific research outpost in Antarctica, a promotional stunt which sadly did not grow the popularity of the sport on the continent the way organizers hoped.

The 80’s saw a dramatic swift in the look and feel of modern quizzing. Gone were the scrappy, independent teams that had long defined the sport, replaced by flashy superteams of elite quizzers from all across the country. This era is best personified between the epic rivalry between The Quiz-o-maniacs and The Ultimate Quizmeisters which culminated in front of 93,000 screaming nerds at the Pontiac Silverdome in 1989 at Geek-o-Mania VI. The two titanic teams went blow for blow, answering questions on everything from Robocop to Iran Contra, but in the end The Ultimate Quizmeisters pulled off the startling upset, cementing themselves as the team to beat in the 90’s.

Today, modern quizzing is in the best place it’s ever been. With the rise of the internet, companies like Geeks Who Drink can coordinate dozens of quizzes all over the country ever night of the week. This digital democratization in many ways has returned quizzing to what it has always been: Teams of sexless nerds banding together to answer stupid questions about dumb shit. It’s a proud tradition with a glorious past which we at the Frontier Room plan to honor. Last night, Ludicrous Speed narrowly edged out The Lebowski Urban Achievers for the title. What will happen next week, however, is history yet to be written.

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