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Little Woodrow's (EaDo)
2019 Walker Street
Houston, TX 77003
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:31 AM, June 12, 2013


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Scores

Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten?	89

MF'n Crimestoppers	84

There Are Dozens of UsÉDozens	83

Asscasket	74

Don't Make Me Take Off My Stiletto	71

Everybody Leave. I Gotta Poop.	65

Dixon Cider	64

Stiletto to the Face for the Win	62

The Houstonians	58

Don't Look Now But You're Getting FUCKED	57

Come Pet Zissou	56

Cougar's Welcome	53

Man of Feels	51

The Master Debaters	42

Babysitter's Club	38

Gang Bangs in Automobiles	29

Dog's Barking, Can't Fly Without Umbrella

Gene

We had a great turnout this week. I'm not sure, however, whether it's because you were anticipating my return after being out last week or you were hoping Nick was going to be here again. Either way, great to see you!

R1 tonight was and easy round called Better Halves which gave us some things to ponder. Like, for instance, why do so many people remember the name of the alter-ego from the Nutty Professor? Shouldn't we all have dismissed that knowledge by now? Or, how did King Solomon get away with spitting a baby in half without having to register as a Sex Offender? Also, The Rock is half black/half Samoan, is that referred to as a Blackmoan? I might ask him if I ever meet him. Scores were great here with MF'n Crimestoppers, Hey Hermano, and Don't Look Now But You're Getting FUCKED all kicking it off with perfect scores.

R2 was our first audio round and was titled Stroke or Speech Impediment? This was a round on those singers who can't seem to enunciate anything and leave you in the lurch, making up your own lyrics which fit the rhythm of the song. The best cinematic instance of this is in the movie Jumpin' Jack Flash starring Whoopi Goldberg. She has to find out the lyrics of a song to discover a secret password that will access a computer in a storyline that barely held water back then and would be totes laughed at now. The scene where she's trying to figure out the lyrics to Jumping Jack Flash is classic though and introduced the phrase 'fuck a duck' into my vocabulary. This film, although generally not great, is classic Whoopi doing what she does best, being hilarious. It's worth checking out if you didn't see it on standard cable already. Seriously. Congrats to MF'n Crimestoppers and Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten? for leading the round with 15 points each.

R3 was perhaps one of the most bitchy rounds I've ever hosted. Aptly titled Cinema Clusterfuck, I give you a list of unrelated characters you figure out who played each and then give me the title of the film all those actors were in together. Clusterfuck is RIGHT! Scores weren't completely shitty here and, for that, I applaud you. I'll give extra clap to Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten? for leading the round with 12 big points.

R4 got us back on track with Recently in Stuff, a half-assed attempt at current events. Serena Williams is World Number One which, apparently is a tennis rank, not a terrorist title; PM Erdogan apologized for early police violence in Turkey then immediately told the police to go beat the shit out of the protesters and some dude paid $1.5MM to go to space with Leo DiCaprio. That's the most expensive road head in recorded history. Congrats to MF'n Crimestoppers, Hey Hermano, and Asscasket for perfect scores here.

R5 was a visual round on parts of a gun. Holy shit, I bet if I gave you a visual round that was parts of your own body, you couldn't have done as well, seriously. Every team but two got a perfect score here. Wow.

R6, I Have a History of Losing My Shirt, was a round on things mentioned in the Barenaked Ladies song, One Week. Clever. Unfortunately, Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken was not in the questions but, I swear, if I ever open an asian restaurant, Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken is going to be my mascot. It will be a huge success and I'm considering have a discount meal called the LeAnn Rimes, cuz it's all about value. Congrats to Don't Look Now But You're Getting FUCKED for leading the round with 7 points.

R7 was a easy one on current films. CURRENT films, I said…like three times. FYI, if a film was nominated for a Best Picture Oscar back in January, it is not, strictly speaking, a 'current' film, hence, all the answers of Zero Dark Thirty are incorrect. WHY is there a Fast and the Furious 6? How did we get to this point? Wasn't there a moment somewhere in the last 5 where we, as a society, should have said 'Enough is enough'? We should put our foot down now. Please contact your congressional representatives and ask them to support my bill banning the future expansion of this franchise. Congrats to Don't Make Me Take Off My Stiletto and MF'n Crimestoppers for acing the round.

Add in the Random Knowledge of R8 and we've got a game! Who Left the Cap of My Fucking Glisten? started strong and ruled the night, grabbing 1st for the evening with the MF'n Crimestoppers bagging 2nd place with Hey Hermano right behind them in 3rd. The Babysitter's Club grabbed the Tball award tonight and Sybil snagged herself a Dirty Girl soap dish for the correct answer to this week's email bonus question.

Little Woodrow's (EaDo)
2019 Walker Street
Houston, TX 77003
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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2:31 PM, June 05, 2013


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Scores

Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten?	86

Mf'n Crimestoppers	77

Chupacabra-cadabra, I Wanna Reach Out and Grab Ya	71

Down at the Big Yellow Joint	71

Tim Tebow's Premature Release	64

It's Jaime on the Highway and Co.	64

Penile Reduction...Fantastic	62

Niggas in Paris	59

Try Holmes in Texas!	59

A+A 68	51

Freakin' Guinnesses	38

Your Mom Needs a Team Name	35

The Time of Nic(k)

Nick

Greetings fellow geeks and drinkers. Gene was out this week (his official story is medical leave for a long-awaited penile reduction surgery...) so I stepped in to cover his spot. As a Quiz Master newbie who was recently trained by Gene, I knew I had big shoes to fill. I could not have asked for a better crowd of quizees. Thank you to all of the teams for being so welcoming and fun.

Round 1, “Nic” of Time (appropriately enough), asked for answers that began with “Nic,” letters obviously near and dear to my heart. From the nicotine naturally found in eggplants, to Nice N' Easy hair dye(not just for sluts!), this round was a mixed bag. Question 8 stumped everyone: that creepy third eyelid cats, dogs, and other animals have? The Nictitating Membrane.

The first audio round, Round 2, asked the teams to correctly identify songs related to our Tour de Europe. After jamming a little Abba, Ray Charles, and Neutral Milk Hotel, 2 teams submitted perfect (jokered even!) scores: Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten? And Mf'n Crimestoppers.

Round 10,000, er sorry, Round 3, was a tribute to Geeks Who Drink's 10,000^th like on Facebook. Salmon Chase was on the $10,000 dollar bill, a bill that really existed. In a bit of a tricky question, it was revealed that Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have had 20,000 sexual partners. We also discussed that while 10,000 can be represented in roman numerals with an X with a bar over it, it does not have its own letter. While no team got 8 out of 8, Niggas in Paris, A+A 68, and Your Mom Needs a Team Name all had strong showings.

Groups, Gangs, and Cliques dominated Round 4. Buster is the youngest Bluth. Tori, Grant and Kari are MythBusters. And those helper monkeys on Jeopardy? That's The Clue Crew. Teams Chupacabra-cadabra, I Wanna Reach Out and Grab Ya, and Down at the Big, Yellow Joint snagged perfect scores, as did team Glisten.

The visual round, Round 5, brought in scores of perfect scores. Tim Tebow's Premature Release, It's Jaime on the Highway and Co., Penile Reduction...Fantastic, and Try Holmes in Texas! were among the 8 teams who correctly identified all the movie characters shown in their youth. Young Tom Riddle, so sweet, so angelic.

The wave of groans and grumbles that echoed through the bar (when it was revealed that Round 6, Throne of Games, was not about Game of Thrones) could be heard next door. It may have been for good reason, as the highest score this round was 4. Most missed questions: Sierra is the game company that made King's Quest and Space Quest, and Kingdom Hearts is the game series that has stupid titles like Chain of Memories, Birth By Sleep, and Dream Drop Distance .

The second audio round, Round 7, asked our teams to name the cowboy movie from each clip of audio. Three teams tied for the top score of 6 this round: Glisten, Tebow's Release, and Jaime and Co. Our teams need to catch up on The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and Once Upon a Time in the West.

Round 8, the classic general knowledge round, asked the teams about The Cat in The Hat on the doorstep, delicious Spanish gazpacho, and Ken Jeong in The Hangover, Community, and Knocked Up. Team Glisten finished strong with 15 points, followed by Try Holmes with 14 and Jaime and Co. with 13.

The night finished with a tie for third between Chupacabra-cadabra, I Wanna Reach Out and Grab Ya and Down at the Big, Yellow Joint with 71 points each. Team Chupacabra took 3^rd in a tiebreaker round in which they came the closest to identifying the number of astronaut Chris Hadfield's twitter followers at the time he left the space station: 856,862. 77 points earned Mf'n Crimestoppers a second place victory, and Who Left the Cap Off My Fucking Glisten? took the top prize with 86 points!

All in all it was a great night. Thank you all so much for playing and for your kind words and assholey insults. Gene will be back next week, and I may pop in to say hi. Cheers!

Little Woodrow's (EaDo)
2019 Walker Street
Houston, TX 77003
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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11:44 AM, May 29, 2013


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Scores

Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb	89

Quiz in My Pants	86

MF'n Crimestopers	83

Don't Look Now But Your Getting Fucked	82

Fuck Candy Crush	80

Mooseknuckle	69

She Told Me She Was 18	57

Dudes with Raging Clues	49

Jody Arias Match Making Service	49

Violating Asimov's First Law of Booty Sweat

Gene

I KNOW I Make You Randy! But R1 forced me to ask anyway. Actually it was a round on dudes named Randy, but that's beside the point; sometimes my ego just needs stroking. No, Randy Moss never did get a Super Bowl ring but, at that one party, he sure did SCORE! Also, how embarrassing would be it be to be called the Big Unit and not have the equipment to back that up? Personally I don't know what's going on down there with him as I find him physically unattractive but, were that my nickname, I'd make sure to put a cucumber in my jock to make up for any deficiency. Small dick or not, you guys did really well in this round with Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb, Don't Look Now But Your Getting Fucked and Fuck Candy Crush kicking us off with perfect scores.

R2 was our first audio round. It was called the Song of the Sellout but, no, it was not a whole round on Nirvana and Metalica, instead it was a round of songs that have been licensed to promote various mundane products. You know someone's got a mortgage payment due when songs like Whip It, Money for Nothing and Dream Police show up in commercials for Swiffers. Also, congrats to Biz Markie for claiming the last 30 seconds of his 15 minutes of fame. You, sir, are now DONE. Scores were really good here with almost everyone in the double digits but only Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb and Mooseknuckle got them all correct. Mooseknuckle dropped a joker here but Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb did not…a fatal mistake? We'll see.

R3 was a speed round on Highest Rated TV Shows. This kind of went south a little for a lot of teams based no various factors. First, in the instructions, I said '…highest rated shows on network TV'. For those who don't understand that, 'network' means 'things you get with rabbit ears', not cable channels. Hence, answers of Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Mad Men are automatically wrong. Also, you may notice, I said 'highest rated', therefore answers of New Girl are likewise wrong since no one but you is watching that. There were two big surprises here: Grey's Anatomy and 2 Broke Girls. Honestly, I wasn't aware that either show was still on the air. Apparently they are and that's what people leave their televisions set to while they are out of the house so the dogs don't feel lonely. Based on previous rounds, scores were bleak here with Quiz in My Pants and She Told Me She Was 18 leading the pack with just 6 points.

R4, was a nerd-worthy round on Prime Directives. No, 'Injuring humans or letting them come to harm' is not a violation of the First Law of Booty Sweat, it's Asimov's First Law of Robotics I can see how you got those confused though. Giving a phaser to a caveman violates Star Trek's Prime Directive, not killing a tribble, those are totes fair game and it was Joan Crawford, not Angelina Jolie, who had the stern 'no wire hangers' rule, also easily confused though. Quiz in My Pants was back in the game here nabbing a perfect score.

R5 was a 16-point visual round on Flower Children. No, that's not Beyonce that's Twiggy. Again, easily confusable since one is a 63 year-old, emaciated white woman from England and the other is a 31 year-old black chick with an H-Town booty. Also, FYI, Jane Fonda is not Asian. Groovy scores abound here with both Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb and Don't Look Now But You're Getting Fucked posting perfect scores. Bob Loblaw dropped their joker here making up for the oversight in R2. Also, had Don't Look Now… saved their joker for this round they would have tied for third rather than settling for fourth over all. This is the lesson of careful joker placement, thanks be to Gob.

R6 was a Before and After round on Summer Movies. There were some gems here like World War ZZ Top and Pumping Iron Man 3. White House Downton Abbey gave people some trouble as did Percy Jackson: Sea Monsters University but I won't hold that against you. If you're not a chick or gay, you're probably not watching Downton Abbey and if you don't have kids you probably don't give a shit about Percy Jerkoff or the future plans of Pixar. I'm not sure who on the team fits which labels, but Quiz in My Pants got all 8 in this round, proving that they are either hiding a homosexual or some kids somewhere.

R7 was an audio round titled Listen and WIN! wherein I played you the sound effects from a game show and you gave me the show's title. These were all pretty standard with Let's Make a Deal begin the toughest. People started making 'that face' during number 5 which indicated to me that no one was going to come up with the Emmy-winning show Cash Cab, a fact I KNEW you'd groan about when I read the answer. Thanks for not disappointing me. Congrats to Quiz in My Pants, MF'n Crimestopers, She Told Me She Was 18 and Mooseknuckle for grabbing 7 points here.

Add in the Random Knowledge of Round 8 and some last minute jokers and we've got a GAME!

In the end, a strong overall showing carried Bob Loblaw's Law Bomb to 1st Place for the evening by three points over Quiz in My Pants. MF'n Crimestoppers grabbed the 3rd place spot for the night with Dudes with Raging Clues and Jody Arias Match Making Service in a tie for the T-Ball Award.

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