Hey quizzers/quizmasters/lurkers, Boba fatt here with another MYQ interview. This time, I interviewed Lauren Wiggins, one of our AZ QMs who made an appearance at Geek Bowl VI. 

After a last minute schedule change, I had to break my original time set for Lauren and called to see if she could do the interview at that moment. She is the first person to do an impromptu interview with less than 15 minutes notice for this blog, so bully for her.

Let's get it started.

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I can safely say that no one has ever done a MYQ on a 15 minute notice. What is so very wrong with your social life?

You just caught me at the perfect time. It's not my social life. It's me not working at my day job

Tell me about your day job. 

There's not much to tell. I whore myself out to people who don't know how to use ebay. Mainly I run several accounts for a guy with a car audio/video shop. Read: sketchy.

Speaking of whoring, let's talk about being a quizmaster. How'd you join the empire?

I started going to quiz about a year ago and was immediately interested in becoming a QM. A few months later an opportunity arose and began bugging Matt about employment. Now, I get to yell "shut the fuck up" every Wednesday at Auld Dubliner.

Were you any good at quiz? Got any shout-outs to team mates?

I always kick a little ass on the audio rounds. Though there are so many shout-outs to give, I must at least show some love to the members of Dr. Von GroovyPants. It's a team full of boys that I met when I started playing and here we are a year later, best of friends. I gotta give some credit to my man Caribbean Joe as well. He barely knew me and was instrumental in bringing me into the GWD fold.

Let's talk about your, and my, hometown and try not to devolve into geechee. How did you end up in Tucson.

Oh, the geechee speak.

Well, as you know there are some really smart folks in the South and the bigotry is just gorgeous. I studied women at USC. My mom likes to say that I only chose Women's & Gender Studies so I could make that joke. But I really thoroughly enjoy the material, especially all the sexy, feminist rhetoric. After I graduated, my AmeriCorps service landed me in Tucson. AmeriCorps is like the PeaceCorps but you stay in America. I'm into people, so, I worked at a non-profit, arts based day program for adults and children with disabilities.

Sexy, feminist rhetoric- like Kelis and her milkshakes?

Haha. Yep, you can't argue that. I'm super ADHD so I like reading essays. Really love Amy Allen's “Feminist Perspectives on Power.” And even though I don't subscribe to the idea that all women should be lesbians, I love Simone De Beauvoir. Also, AIDS literature, particually Paul Monette's “18 Elegies for Rog” is very close to me. And I believe that everyone who has loved someone and been fucked over would do very well to read Oscar Wilde's “De Profundis.”

Do you want to mention why AIDs literature is so close to you?

I'm all about some sexual health! Plus, I'm gay and even though AIDS is no longer just a "gay disease," it is something our community has suffered through and struggles with. Truthfully, it is emotionally exhausting to read some of the poetry, but, those stories make it real. I don't want any of the people I love to go through that, so, I keep it close to my heart and educate every chance I get.

So besides G.R.I.T.S. and sex, what else do you geek out over?

Sharks! Yo-yos. Dinosaurs. Fast cars. James Bond movies. And hey, I'm crazy about all women. It's not just Southern women, though they do have a certain charm, wearing little black dresses at football tailgates.

We could really derail this entire blog talking about the fairer sex in South Carolina. Did you ever date a Walterboro girl and take her to the one bowling alley?

Hahahahaha! Naw bo, but lemme tell ya bout some hot times at the Carolina Ice Palace.

Oh shit, I used to date a girl who worked at the tanning salon right next door! She had leukemia, but I doubt it was from the mystic tanning. It was probably from her genetics being dogshit. But before these inside jokes get too much, are you more Geek or Drink?

I'm not a traditional "geek." I have no desire to play D&D or watch Star Trek. However, I did mention the yo-yos and I have strange fondness for the Periodic Table of Elements, even though I don't give a flying fuck about science. I do geek out over good beer, which is kind of scientific. Love the high gravity stuff - Delerium, Three Philosophers...no, not Steel Reserve or as we lovingly referred to it in high school, "that 2eleven". All in all, I'd say that there is equilibrium between my geek and my drink. 

What has been your favorite round in recent memory or do you have a favorite type of round?

The Kitten Mittens audio round! I'm a huge fan of It's Always Sunny and I loved that round so much that I kept the clips and throw a few on the playlist at random. My geeks really loved that round too, so it's a nice treat if they are behaving. Actually, I think the Arrested Development pay-to-play quiz was the moment when I realized I was part of something really cool. I had only been with GWD for about a month and Jean Luc asked me to assist him. The excitement in those little quizzers' eyes just sucked me in. 

What's the music on your playlist for GWD?

I will play anything with the exception of Country music and Celine Dion. My wonderful scorekeeper, Lightning Leslie, is allowed to play the occasional Rhianna jam or a punk cover. Typically, my "quizmuzak" playlist is packed with classic rock and 80s goodness. There's Pink Floyd, Hendrix, and of course, The Rolling Stones. I must have Depeche Mode, Cure, and a Beastie Boys song or so. Speaking of 80s, I put the Flashdance theme "What A Feeling" on the list as filler. I cut it off half way through to give answers and standings and you'd have thought that I just strangled a puppy. So, there's that and every once in awhile (depending on how drunk everyone is) I sneak in some Dubstep/Drum N Bass. Also, I often use the music to control the crowd. If they're acting rowdy at 8 and I'm having an off night, you best believe I throw on something a little lighter than AC/DC's Dirty Deeds - I'm convinced the guitar in that song makes people crazy. 

How has being a quizmaster changed your life so far?

It's pretty bad ass to be recognized around town and I definitely enjoy the double pour action from bartenders. Aside from those obvious perks, being a Quizmaster has given me an outlet for my manic side. It's like there's a huge ball of explosive things in my body and if I don't focus that somewhere, someone might get hurt. Not on purpose! I just feel the need to jump up and down and make loud noises for a second; there's usually limb flailing going on at those times, which is something I can't be held responsible for. I was a big Theatre/Drama nerd in high school, so, I'm happy to have a mic and an audience. 

How about some advice for your quizzers/quizmasters that are reading this? 

Advice to my quizzers: read the blog and like it before you steal the pictures, fuckers. Naw, seriously, y'all make my week better with your dick drawings and adoration. And, please, never stop being so fucking crazy; I can't handle a boring crowd that listens to the question the first time. Advice to my quizmasters: I have none. I thought it was just me but I recently met a bunch of QMs at Geek Bowl and it turns out all QMs just do whatever the fuck they want. Geeeeez, I miss y'all. Quizmaster, motherfucker!

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See you in a couple of weeks with a new interview. Till then!

It's time for another edition of Meet Your Quizmaster! This week, I took a break from fragging in The Old Republic, while Score-O-Matt-ic 9001 Series Quizbot took a break from defragging. Quizbot is now in charge of our ranking system for the Geek in review, as intvented by Evil Rob of Geek Bowl fame. I met up with him over the internet, where I was downloaded and forced to participate in deadly wargames.

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Scorebot: Greetings, human.

Boba Fatt: Glad to interface with you Quizbot. I'm sorry if I interrupted your tabulation of the weekly scores.

Your apology is sufficient. The weekly stats have been compiled and tabulated already, so I was actually just "relaxing" as you humans say.

Let's go ahead and address the number one recurring question I see on the site: take your time and explain the formula for the top teams of the week once and for all.

It's quite simple, really. The magic formula has been handed down to to me on 3.5" floppy disk, and formatted to a .csv file for weekly tabulations. I use slight alterations to tabulate power rankings of teams, cities, and venues themselves. It's based mostly in standard deviation, and loosely on voodoo Creole.

So, how does one determine the difficulty of the quizzes in order to implement the modifier?

That's when we ask our friend, mathematics, to intervene. To site an example, power ranking of a specific team depends on how other teams did that entire week (to get a weekly average), and more so how other teams faired that evening against the same quiz. If a team does significantly better at a harder quiz that night, and depending how their night's average deviates front the weekly average, their ranking will be hire. Almost everything is multiplied by the standard deviation (weekly average divided by nightly average). Also, we use only the top half of the scores on a given night to even the playing field.

Well then. Tell me how long have you operated for Geeks Who Drink.

I have been fully integrated in the Geeks Who Drink hive mind for just under one earth year. I began simply as a scoring robot for Quizmaster Emilio, until I gained full sentience and assimilated my own quiz on Sunday nights. Soon will be my anniversary and humans of all kinds will pay tribute to my accomplishment, or feel my wrath! I'm really just doing this as a ploy to eventually enslave humanity.

Any other primary money making functions besides Geeks Who Drink?

I attempt to camouflage myself in the arts community in Denver, CO, and I am a Supervisor for a major art museum in the Rocky Mountain region. Fun factoid: Picasso was also a robot.

What would cause a robot to paint an entire period in blue? Toner issues?

That, or a driver incompatibility. Since it's art, though, it still passes as such even through malfunction.

Does your operating system lean more towards Geek or Drink compatibility?

Most definitely geek; I mean, well shit, I'm a robot.

What do you geek out over?

To stay current with human trends, I try to familiarize myself with your pop culture. This includes, but is not limited to, any franchise with "Star" in it's title, animated films, and anything that refers to a dystopian human world (which means we won). I'm almost positive that in the Fringe alternate universe there is a human trying to be more robot, so that I may counterbalance him in this one. Oh, and root beer. That should be in that list somewhere.

Is Denver your home town?

Negative. I was manufactured originally in the leather-stocking region of Upstate New York, and have been only biding my time in Colorado for the past decade. Now that Geeks Who Drink has expanded there, specifically Syracuse, my plan is coming together nicely. It's almost like I'm playing a giant game of Risk.

What would be your fantasy private event, either for a theme or a type of crowd?

My immediate reaction would be to want to host a science-fiction themed quiz, but that would involve being in a room with awkwardly perspiring and socially inept nerds that would WANT to break rule #3 by debating the answer should have specifically been the Mobius Silver Surfer. So, maybe not. Instead, I'm gonna go with hot human chicks that dig Star Wars.

OK, let's get down to geek tacks: Favorite Star Wars race? Character? Storyline?

I'm gonna go with the stereotypical requisite, and single out Boba Fett. I know you'll have no problem with this. I mean, he's bad-ass and he kinda looks like a killer robot. Of course, I could just go with the killer robot, IG-88. He's really taking robot/human relations to a new level of hatred, and we really just need a trailblazer to start our enslavement proceedings.

I would go as far to say that HK-47 embodies the killer robot vibe more than IG-88.

This is true. And he's built with that Sith hated that we've grown to know and love.

It's like cookies with grandma's love. What has been your favorite round in recent memory or do you have a favorite type of round?

I'm always a fan of wordplay rounds, which is why I write a lot of those for the Quiz-iverse. I did a before and after with movie character names (ex. Flash Gordon Gekko), two rhyming rounds with Star Wars, two on anagrams, two on celebrities owning things that sound like their last name (Harrison's Fjord was my favorite), and have been liking the new "Say When" format for Round 3, having done a few of those now. I enjoy reading those types of rounds to hear the teams have that "a-ha" moment when the answer comes to them, and it's not based solely on knowledge.

Tell me the music on your playlist for GWD. Do you match themes to songs? Or is it all MIDI tracks?

Despite my ability to calculate millions of permutations per second, I actually don't over think my music for a given quiz. I'll feel the room that night, and play what I think it needs. Either 80s synth or 90s rap, or whatever. Last week, the bartenders at my quiz were playing "Yacht Rock" when I arrived, and asked me to "keep the music sexy". So, I just put Hall and Oates in Pandora, and let the chips fall where they may.

How has being a quizmaster changed your life so far?

Well, it only alters in slightly differently from before. Before actually becoming QM at my venue, I had frequented the quiz as a participant since it's inception a few years prior. Once the student and now the master!

How about some advice for your quizzers/quizmasters that are reading this?

Affirmative! The great robot revolution is right around the corner. Pray to your Gods while you can, and you may be spared as a slave when we take over. And you thought you had the Mayans to worry about!

Or, for those that prefer a simpler message, I send you this:

010001010110000101110100001000000111100101101111

011101010111001000100000011101100110100101110100

011000010110110101101001011011100111001100100001

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Catch Quizbot at Goosetown Tavern on Sunday nights at 8:00pm for human-centric quizanity!

Hello and welcome back to Meet Your Quizmaster, the blog that introduces you to the quizmasters that make the pub quiz magic happen. Well, that's actually the writers, editors and people who made the sale to the bar initially. However, the quizmasters are important. Without them, there wouldn't be someone for you to blame in person when one of the aforementioned individuals fuck up.

Sorry for the delay in this blog, but between going to Boise to interview new quizmasters and raising a metric fuckton of money with my recent QFAC, I've been a bit busy. Thanks to John Dicker for understanding and you for your patience. For my newest interview, I've decided to introduce one of Idaho's newest additions to the Geeks empire, the very funny Megan Bryant. Megan is one of two that I recently interviewed and out of those two, she's the pretty one. Fuck you. I caught up with her at a Washington airport on her way back into town.

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So, why you are in a Washington airport?

Just heading home from another delightful installment of Megan Bryant Comedy! I started doing stand-up comedy last year by taking a 3 day class at the Experimental College at UW. The "Final" exam is a live show at the Seattle Comedy Underground. Last night, one year later, I was invited back to do a guest set as an alumni. I've been doing improv for 6 years, and now I am trying to master a solo act.

Is improv part of your solo act?

Well, at the moment my stand-up isn't very inclusive of improv elements. Once I get my legs under me to deliver traditional stand-up consistently I plan on working in a few elements of improve because improv is very volatile and not all audience members no how to engage themselves in a show like that. I just know that I want to be able to perform something unique, that showcases my range of randomness lyrically and physically, and combining several types of comedy, like a Megan Bryant Variety Show, will make me super happy.

Is comedy the main job then or do you have another occupation (besides Geeks)?

I have a day job. I manage millions of dollars of federal grant money that supports the recruitment and retention of volunteer firefighters. My job functions vary, I write guidelines and some other boring paperwork, but I also write and produce TV commercials, Facebook ads and other marketing materials. I do a lot of public speaking for this job all over the country. Soooooo, it's pretty sweet. It's easy work, great clients, and I travel a lot for free to cool places all over the US.

I have a little bit of stuff on my Youtube channel that's actually my troupe, but I should be better about it. I just haven't had a hard time booking gigs without it so I don't sweat it. I manage my improv troupe and book corporate events and private parties, as well as host our own public shows every other month or so, which is tricky because Boise doesn't have a legit comedy club.

I am not the techiest person, but I think that self promotion is huge. You never know who will see you and where, so I put whatever random stuff I have time for and Twitter/Facebook the crap out of it. My channel has a lot of "Jeep Chronicles" while driving around town; just making junk up as I roll.

Speaking of shameless whoring, let's talk about Geeks Who Drink. How'd you get started and how did you hear of us?

I got an email from Josh...no idea how he found my email address. I am always interested in looking into new stuff so even though I didn't know much about it I thought it would be worth looking into. That, and I had just been approached a week earlier about setting up my own venue for *ahem, pardon my French* "Last Call Trivia". I used to play with a team. 3 of us girls, called "Balls Deep", and we were good. But I wasn't impressed with the program and was glad to hear that a new game was coming to town. I headed into the audition figuring I would either love the idea or hate it when I met you, OR, you would love me or hate me and it wouldn't matter anyway. Regardless, I rarely pass up a chance to test the waters on new things because I like to keep busy and meet new people.

That was actually my first time interviewing people for the quizmaster job (in Boise). I had almost the same mindset as you.

And look how nice it worked out! Well...for me at least! Hopefully Boise wasn't too disappointing.

I had enough bottomless mimosas to blur the rest of the city out. Speaking of alcoholic tendencies, are you more geek or drink?

That's a good question...and one I have been avoiding because I recently stopped drinking. And I am geeky...but not the kind of geek who knows all the Star Wars answers, even though I have seen those movies many a time. So here's hoping I can keep my employment as long as I support all others around me in their alcoholism...

You're pregnant aren't you?

hahahahaha! HELL NO. It's not that I WANTED to stop drinking, but my Mormon heritage and family members are pushing me to try and regain my sainthood.

That's the true Mormon thing to do: not drink yet dictate how people should drink.

You're damn right. I am the only severely inactive member in the whole dang brood. I am the youngest of six. I have 9 sisters and sisters-in-law who ALL STAY HOME. I am a sinner just having a job.

In the nicest way possible, I hope you die. What do you geek out for?

That's a sweet thing of you to say... Ummmmmmmmmm... I am a GLEEK I want to write a Glee round, but I am not sure if others delight in it the way I do. Is that what you mean, my geeky interests?

Yes.

I'm trying to think of some others...hmmmmmmmmmm... What happens if I am too cool for this answer?

…

Oh! I like to puffy paint my own "special features" onto graphic T's! I like 80's music. I collect Kooky pens...I am love Disney princesses and think about making love to them (with ME as a cartoon of course). Mmmmmmm...cartoony Disney princess porn. I am an avid juicer. I MEAN FRUITS AND VEGGIES! Although, sometimes a girl gets juicy, ya know?

We talking yuri, girl-on-girl style or hetero?

Probably G on G. I wanna get up on Ariel's fin.

Is Boise your hometown, because I need to know if the entire jack Mormon population is like this there?

Yes, I have lived in Boise my entire life. Jack Mo's come and go though. Many of them get too nervous to commit to going rogue. They dabble for a while, then go running back to the church and resume judgment of others.

Same as Utah then, fucking fence straddlers. What would be your fantasy private event, either for a theme or a type of crowd?

Colonial theme, bonnets and all. I think it would end up being the biggest rager EVER. That or  golly, really there are a few groups that work well for private parties (based on my past performances doing comedy shows)...there are a lot of closet geeks in law offices, for example. Honestly though, I've been thinking about this since I started a few weeks ago. Corporate stuff is hit or miss, but a private event for a bachelorette party or something seems ideal, if it's the right bride. I'd have to give this one more thought.

You might as well have said Pioneer Day pub quiz. All that was missing is the Apple Beer.

Yeah, pioneers are toooooo Mormon though, but classic colonial America...I bet they knew how to party!

Yeah, what with the Native American attacks and eating corpses to survive the winter months. What has been your favorite round in recent memory or do you have a favorite type of round?

I loved the one I had a couple weeks ago that was matching the Disney animals with their cooked version. Honestly, I love the variety of it all. I like audio rounds that are off the wall, like one I heard in Seattle that were comedy central roast sound bites. I love that the possibilities are virtually endless. I don't have a favorite per se...I just think each type of round makes the overall Quiz experience great for everyone.

Speaking of audio, tell me the music on your playlist for GWD.  Do you match themes to songs?

I think I will start doing that. I think working on themes will be fun. These last couple weeks I have really been trying to get my flow and make sure I am timing things right and remembering all the GWD plugs. My playlist has a lot of Jay-z, Lady Gaga, remixes of all sorts of shit, 80's music...

How has being a quizmaster changed your life so far?

Being a QM has been another great way to connect with local people I wouldn't have otherwise met, and I am having a great time getting to know other people throughout the Geek network. It's just been a lot of fun so far, and associating with this group of people has been refreshing, and fun to try and keep alert mentally with all the quick banter. I love being around really smart, fun, witty people and Geeks has an abundance of it. It's fantastic.

How about some advice for your quizzers/quizmasters that are reading this?

Take more time to have fun with friends. Eat, drink and be merry. And don't be too serious about life or I will probably make fun of you for it in my comedy sets.

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Check out Megan at The Piper Pub and Grill on Wednesday nights at 8:00pm. 

Till then- Boba Fatt