What do you get when you combine an extra-drinky quiz night on Thursday with an unexpectedly late, fun, drinky Friday and a SUPER CLASSY black tie ball with an open bar and weird and fancy (but free) appetizers? You end up forgetting to post the Geek in Review on time and making a REALLY GREAT impression the first (probably last) time you're asked to do it. These things happen, it's a lot like when you wrecked your dad's BMW the first time he casually tossed you his keys and said that you could "take the old girl for a spin" except, in this case, all of the disapproving looks come via email and it's from a Jewish Viking, not your dad. The good news? Eric can't hit me, he's in New Mexico. The bad news? I'm still late (God, I hope this is just a food baby and not pregnancy). Enough about me, though…Let's talk about YOU...

Nerd News Now!
Important Updates From GWD Headquarters

Hiring All Over
We're still hiring like mad. So if you or someone you know is in the following areas, make sure to fill out an application.    

• Tucson, AZ
• Plano, TX
• Gloucester, MA
• San Antonio, TX
• San Diego, CA

Our Next Themed Quiz

The All Mad Men Quiz
Coming In June
More info here.

This Week In Geek
Every quiz is unique - and these are the unique-iest 

The QM at Playground Tucson can't hide her love for bad movies, mondays and the time-honored Japanese art of Haiku

Need a lesson in Irish affection? You can find it at the Harp Inn in Costa Mesa. Just don't expect not to get punched in the balls or anything.

The QM at the Elm got all pretentious and explored her inner Robert Frost.

It's entirely possible that the QM at Whiskey Bar in Denver had several small strokes right before blogging. Keep in mind, though, this is just a theory.

The QM at Sweet Caroline's in Boston is a creepy Facebook stalker who writes CRAZY LONG blogs...And "likes" ERR'THANG...

at Luscious Nectar, "Man Ass" finds YOU...

Team Names of the Week!

Invasive Transvaginal Orchestra (Mister Tramps)
Balls Are Sweaty, I Prefer Pie (Three Lions)
The Iceberg Was Framed (C.B. and Potts)
Jean Luc Picard's Off Duty Blouses (Groveland Tap)
The Rest of Our Team is Scared of the Wind (O'Niell's)
Eric and Emily Had Sex in the Bathroom (Blackbird Buvette)
I'm Not Cheating I'm Sexting Your Mom (Blackbird Buvette)

Evil Rob's Weekly Champions of Quizlandia!
A weekly look at who is better than you by the guy who is smarter than you.

--Rankings coming soon!

Photos I Like!

The...Scissor...Sisters?

...it was the single most erotic moment of my entire zookeeping life.

we have a windowless van parked RIGHT outside, guys...

So all those Junior Seau Said Ow or Say Ow! team names? You suck. That's the best out there? A play on his name? Try harder next time someone dies. Not MCA though. I loved that man. The world is far less ready to rock without him in it. In other news, I haven't seen the Avengers even though it's been out for 24 hours. I know, I'm that bad of a nerd. I haven't even seen Thor or Captain America. I'll get around to it, but for now shouting FUS RO DAH at my Kinect has been what I've been up to.

Nerd News Now!
Important Updates From GWD Headquarters

Hiring All Over
We're still hiring like mad. So if you or someone you know is in the following areas, make sure to fill out an application.    

• Tucson, AZ
• Plano, TX
• Gloucester, MA
• San Antonio, TX
• San Diego, CA

Our Next Themed Quiz

The All Mad Men Quiz
Coming In June
More info here.

This Week In Geek
Every quiz is unique - and these are the unique-iest 

 DNOTE finds out that when you're drunk you think people really like dubstep.

CASEY'S combines cab shows and fails to recognize the genius inventor in their midst.

TRUELOVE questions the Germans who invaded their Waco quiz.

Someone very interesting showed up in the photos at CAPITAL BAR.

NOONAN's reminisces about the first time they were rickrolled.

RACKHOUSE gets all British with fun facts about The Beatles and Monty Python.

THE HIGHBALL uses their "Hulk-Off" as an excuse to photograph shirtless men.

Downtown Saint Paul got their first quiz on at BARRIO.

STAR BAR had a big ol' dance party.

Team Names of the Week!

Driving Over the Geschwindigkeibbegrenzung (TRUELOVE)
Jessica Simpson's Baby Name: Jenny Craig (Coaches)
Foster the Penis - Pumped Up Dicks (Trifecta on 3rd)
These Hippos Need Zoloft (Fish Tale Brewpub)
2 Girls 1 Femmecup (The Colony)
Jessica Simpson Already Taught Her Daughter Everything She Knows (Freshcraft)
What Has 75 Balls And Fucks Old Ladies?... BINGO! (O'Niell's)
Hanging With Mr. D.B. Cooper (Blue Star Cafe)
Lord of the Nuva Ring (Roxy's)
I Got 99 Problems, And the Brooklyn Nets Logo Makes It An Even 100! (Playground)

Evil Rob's Weekly Champions of Quizlandia!
A weekly look at who is better than you by the guy who is smarter than you.

--That blast came from McCabe's Tavern in the Springs.  That thing's operational!

--3-way tie for 5th place in the team rankings between Fiendish Dr. Woo's Kung-Fu Treachery (Killarney's--Riverside, CA), The Super Friends (The Highball--Austin, TX), and Allie Rocks (Joshua Tree Bar & Grill--Somerville, MA).  Dance-off!

--Waco bolts all the way up to #RG3 in the city rankings this week.  I wonder if RGIII plays quiz.  I think he'd be really fucking good at that, too.

--Now that there is a GWD quiz in NYC, I can officially combine that quiz's score and those of the quizzes across the river in NJ and count New York's score in the city rankings.  Right now New York is getting an atomic wedgie in pub quiz from the likes of Sacramento, Boise, and Nashville.  I generally don't even bother calculating an average for those cities because they're so far from contention for the Top 5.  So you all have a reason to feel superior to the Big Apple.  For now anyway.

--I really, really, like the caliber of most of the team names in the team rankings this week.  Good work, people.  I'm not gonna lie, a funny team name makes me MUCH less suspicious that you're cheating.

--Speaking of #3, that's the Texas Theatre's spot in the bar rankings.  In their FIRST WEEK PLAYING THE QUIZ.  Somehow Dallas actually got a bar in the bar rankings, but didn't finish in the city rankings for the first time in three weeks.  Glitch in the matrix...

--Speaking of Dallas, they tied with Fort Collins for #7 in the city rankings (70.18).  Dance-off!

Top Cities
1. Austin 73.04
2. Denver 72.33
3. Waco 71.41
4. Colorado Springs 71.35
5. Seattle 70.59

Top Bars
1. McCabe's Tavern--Colorado Springs, CO 79.34
2. Birch Street Bar & Grill--Brea, CA 78.14
3. Texas Theatre--Dallas, TX 76.00
4. The Highball--Austin, TX (Wed.) 75.42
5. TRUELOVE--Waco, TX 74.65

Top Teams by Power Ranking
1. Emo Kids Should Kill Themselves With Sigh-Anide, O'Niells Pub (Heights)--Albuquerque, NM 87.94
2. I Feel More Patriotic When My Pants Are Down, Zio Romolo's--Denver, CO 86.82
3. Zombie Apocalypse, Texas Theatre--Dallas, TX 84.69
4. Piccadilly Twitz, British Bulldog--Denver, CO 82.52
5. Fiendish Dr. Woo's Kung-Fu Treachery, Killarney's--Riverside, CA, The Super Friends, The Highball--Austin, TX (Wed.) & Allie Rocks, Joshua Tree Bar & Grill--Somerville, MA 81.12

Photos I Like!

I want to believe you, but this photo isn't helping your case.

The look of someone who lost by one point.

A common tactic. FOR LOSERS.

With a slow news week good team names were a little less crazy then they were last week. Hopefully someone will die/getdrunk/saysomethingdumb/launchafailedrocket for next week. As for my own personal nerdiness, the wife and I hit season 8 of The X-Files, the beginning of the end as most would call it. Frankly, knowing that Mulder was going to be absent this time around makes dealing with the introduction of the T-1000 much easier. I even kinda like his character now. I know. I know. Yell at me in the comments.

Nerd News Now!
Important Updates From GWD Headquarters

Hiring All Over
We're still hiring like mad. So if you or someone you know is in the following areas, make sure to fill out an application.  

• Lawrence, KS
  
• Seattle, WA
• Park City, UT
• Boston, MA 
• Tucson, AZ
• Plano, TX
• Gloucester, MA
• San Antonio, TX

This Week In Geek
Every quiz is unique - and these are the unique-iest 

OLD CHICAGO deals with whiny losers in second place.

NICOLO'S PIZZA never answers, "How can you hate Bob Seger?"

RACKHOUSE PUB deals with the blood-lust simulation that is The Oregon Trail.

NYC gets their first taste of quiz at SIDEbar!

QM Holland returned to PADDY COYNE'S TACOMA after a month off so naturally he dressed up as Jesus.

Montana got their very first quiz at TAP HOUSE GRILL.

MAGGIE McGEE'S: destroying fun ruining douches one "oh snap" at a time.

I came when I read about BLACK STAR's Star Wars poetry slam.

Team Names of the Week!

Opposite of Christopher Reeve: Christopher Walken (The Ram Tacoma)
Do I pee in the shower? Well yeah, it's kinda hard not to when you're taking a shit (Rock Bototm Brewery)
Endless Love: The Longest Tennis Match Ever between Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller (H Burger)
Mister Tramps would like to announce a new menu item: A cold roast beef grinder with warm zesty mayo. We call it the Necrophiliac.
Shouldn't A Wheelchair Gang Automaticaly Have The Rights To The Name "Crips"?
Hey! Which Instagram Filter Removes The Insecurities? (O'Niell's)
Don't Ask Me About My Pan Pizza, It's Personal (5th Street Icehouse)

Evil Rob's Weekly Champions of Quizlandia!
A weekly look at who is better than you by the guy who is smarter than you.

--Austin did its best Denver impression this week: #2 in the city rankings, only one bar and no teams in the rankings.

--Meanwhile Denver was #1, with 3 bars and two teams in the rankings.  I swear I didn't get them mixed up.

--Dallas in the Top 5 two weeks in a row?  Shit, I have to go back and recalculate this whole thing...

Top Cities:
1. Denver 78.72
2. Austin 75.52
3. Seattle 73.89
4. Salt Lake City 73.69
5. Dallas/Fort Worth 72.72

Top Bars:
1. Birch Street Bar & Grill--Brea, CA 83.22
2. Irish Snug--Denver, CO 79.61
3. Park Tavern--Denver, CO 79.06
4. 400 Rabbits--Austin, TX 77.98
5. Rooster & Moon--Denver, CO 77.35

Top Score On Whedonverse Quiz:
Terrifying Space Monkeys, Ernie's Bar & Pizza--Denver, CO & We Mock You With Our Monkey Pants, Auld Dubliner--Long Beach, CA (85 pts)

Top Teams:
1. Slump Busters, Irish Snug--Denver, CO 89.71
2. STFU Donnie, Dubh Linh Square--Bordentown, NJ 86.25
3. Hot Dicken Cider, Birch Street Bar & Grill--Brea, CA 85.30
4. Invasion of the Montgomery County Baby Snatchers, Cedar Creek--Houston, TX 85.07
5. David Lee Rooster Rides Again, Rooster & Moon, Denver, CO 84.74

Photos I Like!

BOOM! Headshot!

BOOM! Headshot!

I could probably use "BOOM! Headshot!" for this one, too.

What a busy week. Failed Korean rockets, Tupac rising from the grave, Dick Clark signing off, and that fake holiday for stoners. Me? I could care less about all of those things. I started re-watching Battlestar Galactica and The X-Files so I've been filling my spare time with plenty of nerd. Speaking of plenty of nerd, assuming you're not doing something like... I dunno, having sex or something, this week is our ALL JOSS WHEDON QUIZ. Be there.

Nerd News Now!
Important Updates From GWD Headquarters

THIS WEEK!!!!

Bring it nerds. More info right here.

Hiring All Over
We're in another hiring frenzy. So if you or someone you know is in the following areas, make sure to fill out an application.  

• Lawrence, KS
  
• Seattle, WA
• Park City, UT
• Boston, MA 
• Tucson, AZ
• Plano, TX
• Gloucester, MA
• San Antonio, TX

This Week In Geek
Every quiz is unique - and these are the unique-iest 

Don't want to watch a video of an elephant birth? No problem, NICOLO'S PIZZA describes it in detail.

CASEY'S points out that Ryan Gosling can not look bad and that evil is really short.

McCABE'S TAVERN makes me jealous with their live accordion dance-off.

The QM at TOMMY DOYLE'S gets poems written about him (comparing him to Hitler).

AQUA LOUNGE goes into depth as to why you shouldn't hate on the Hitchhikers movie.

TREFF'S BAR AND GRILL's blog is more like a short horror story.

MILE HIGH SPIRITS exaggerates every thing about quiz, except for the Eazy-E appearance.

BALLARD LOFT had a mother fucking cookie thief.

LUSCIOUS NECTAR talks about things my testosterone filled brain can't comprehend.

Team Names of the Week!

The Award For Team Name That's Not Clever if 10+ Teams Use It
It's a tie between Dick in a Box and Dick Clark's Rockin' Funeral!

Hey Secret Service - Double Occupancy Applies Only To The Hotel Room, Not The Hookers (D Note)
Thirty Years of Women's Basketball Would Give Me Dementia Too (Coaches)
what if dick clark's death is a sign there won't be a new year? (Bumsted's)
I fucked me a fish and got merm-aids (Rackhouse Pub)
Dick Clark & Tupac's Rock'n New Year's Eve 2013 (Durty Nelly's)
Dick Clark's Rockin Heart Attack (H Burger)
Dick Clark's Last Words Were "Hally Nu Lear" (O'Niell's)
Hold up, this is important! Did his will say Seacrest or Daly? (Piper Down)
Dear God, Give Dick Clark Back & Take Ryan Seacrest Instead (Trifecta on 3rd)
I Can't Wait to See Dick Clark's Hologram at Coachella this Weekend (Bacon)
If Herman Cain were President, the Secret Service Would Deliver Prostitutes in 30 Minutes or Less (Westside)
If The Secret Service Can Claim Hookers As A Deduction So Can We (C.B. & Potts)
Huey Lewis and the News that your Parents were just Murdered (Roxy's)
Yo Tupac, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Obiwan had the best hologram of all time (Devil's Daughter)

Evil Rob's Weekly Champions of Quizlandia!
A weekly look at who is better than you by the guy who is smarter than you.

--Dallas in the top 5?  That's got to be a miscalculation.

--Austin?  We get it, you're smart.  No one likes a show-off.

--Denver? We get it, you have a lot of venues.  Which is the only reason you're in the city rankings this week.

--We've seen Axis of C'Ville in the team rankings many times before.  Seeing their bar in the Top 5 Bars means they finally have some competition.

Top Cities
1. Austin 79.18
2. Denver 76.34
3. SoCal 75.85
4. Dallas/Fort Worth 74.06
5. Seattle 73.97

Top Bars
1. 400 Rabbits--Austin, TX 84.67
2. The Harp Inn--Costa Mesa, CA 82.47
3. Rapture--Charlottesville, VA 79.80
4. Highball--Austin, TX (Sun.) 79.72
5. Opal Divine's (Freehouse)--Austin, TX 79.11

Top Teams By Power Ranking
1. For Someone Who Tells A Lot Of Abortion & Rape Jokes, He's Such A Nice Guy, 400 Rabbits--Austin, TX 89.00
2. Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls, John, Highball--Austin, TX (Sun.) 88.00
3. Axis Of C'ville, Rapture--Charlottesville, VA 87.05
4. Tropical Reference: Wish You Were Here, McNellie's Norman (The Abner Ale House)--Norman, OK 86.64
5. 5% Nation, Trailhead Tavern--Fort Collins, CO 84.59

Photos I Like!

The most dejected prize winner in the history of Geeks Who Drink.

I was going to make a juvenile joke about never getting laid, but then I got real jealous of his shirt.
You win this round, red shirt.