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British Bulldog 2052 Stout St. Denver, CO 80205 Mondays: 8:00 PM View All Posts |
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Last night’s quiz featured a question on the movie Gremlins. Now some of you have no real understanding of how culturally important Gremlins is, probably because you weren’t yet born in 1984, but I won’t hold that against you. Along with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Gremlins was part of the motivation for the MPAA to create the PG-13 rating. Now, this motivation might lead you to believe that this wasn’t really a movie for children, and you’d be 100% correct. That didn’t stop my parents from letting me partake in the splendor that is Gremlins at an early age. How early of an age you ask? Five. Five goddamned years old. Let’s take a brief spin through some of the more horrifying scenes my young and impressionable eyes witnessed, perhaps it will give some insight on some of my quirks:
If you’re noticing a trend, it’s because THERE IS ONE. Now, let’s take a step back and consider the fact that the gremlins are the villains of the movie, so these could be considered heroic, comforting acts. Sure okay, I can buy that. Let’s take a look at some other fun Gremlins moments:
As if this wasn’t enough on its own, my father in his infinite wisdom devised a brilliant plan to keep me in from getting out of bed early and waking him up. What was this masterminded scheme? He mounted a life-sized Stripe doll and MOUNTED IT TO THE TOP BUNK OF MY BED. I can still clearly remember the terror I experienced on weekend mornings, carefully peering out to see my arch-nemesis staring back down at me. This would go on for about an hour until I finally mustered the courage to close my eyes, burst out of bed, and run for the door, never stopping until I was safely downstairs. Of course when I thought to ask him about this a few years ago, he feigned ignorance to it ever happened, but I know the truth.
And there is your look into some of my deep-seated psychoses. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go turn on all the lights, check all the cabinets, and look under all the desks. ‘Cause you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in my office.
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British Bulldog 2052 Stout St. Denver, CO 80205 Mondays: 8:00 PM View All Posts |
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So yesterday I had a great idea, which is really a terrible idea that I found funny at the time, but quickly realized how bad of idea it really was; this is how I would classify most of the thoughts that pop into my head. Jenny and I are starting to get pretty close to the wedding, which means it’s time to start planning some of the fine details of our special day to come. We are fortunate enough to have an ordained minister in the family, making the selection of our officiant a pretty painless process overall. Designing a wedding ceremony, however, is a completely different animal.
And yes, you read correctly where I said ‘designing a wedding ceremony’. To this point I had pretty much been under the impression that all we needed to do was download “Wedding.PDF” and skim over it, making sure we had a good grasp of the content. Nope, not even a little bit. Apparently you have to assign people readings, pick out music, and a whole glut of things I would have never thought of. There are many books on the subject; if you’re interested in learning more I can definitely recommend some. As we sat trying to agree upon the various details, we came to the part where we say our vows. I’m not sure where the idea came from, or why I considered this as a plausible idea for even a brief moment, but it was right then that I thought HOW HILARIOUS it would be if I took the Rick Astley classic “Never Gonna Give You Up” and rewrote it a bit to be used as my wedding vows. To help illustrate the moment for you, I’ve included a picture of her reacting similarly:

To be fair, this is how she looks at me most of the time.
If there was such a thing as a wedding encyclopedia, and there probably is, under ‘cautionary tale’ you’ll probably find me. What’s worse is that this was not the most horrified look I’ve managed to get out of Jenny during our planning. That distinct honor belongs to my expertly masterminded scheme of trying to fun our fantasy football live draft the morning of the day before the wedding. Although I still feel like I have a strong justification for that idea, but quickly realized that, after her shriek of disbelief, the words uphill struggle did not begin to describe what I had in front of me. So yeah, while I can organize vendors and do a pretty solid job at getting everything arranged; don’t ask me for creative ideas. In fact, use me as an example of what not to do, I won’t even charge you royalties.
The Piccadilly Twitz continued their march towards the Rumble in the Pub with another first place finish. We’re going to have to figure out a way to knock them off their smug little perch without having to put a bounty on their heads. If you have any suggestions, please stop by our Facebook page and post your thoughts. While you’re there, throw us a like so that we can feel validated and important through your clicking of a mouse. Sometimes it’s the little things that brighten our day.
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British Bulldog 2052 Stout St. Denver, CO 80205 Mondays: 8:00 PM View All Posts |
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This blog will serve as a public service announcement. While I always try to fill you in on various happenings throughout the night, sometimes there just isn’t enough time to dedicate the time certain events deserve. Consider this that time.
Fire Cannot Kill a Quizmaster: A Game of Thrones Quiz
Have you ever been to a Geeks Who Drink themed quiz? Of course you have, so I don’t need to tell you how awesome they are, buuuuut I’m going to anyway. Have you ever had that giddy feeling when you see a round theme in the weekly email that is right up your alley? Now imagine not only a whole round, but AN ENTIRE QUIZ on the show you love to hate, Game of Thrones. We’ve been working with Westeros.org on this, and if you head to their site, it goes without saying that these guys are pretty serious about this stuff. The quiz is going to be heavily focused on the HBO series, which isn’t to say that there won’t be any book questions, but don’t feel like you have to bring that antisocial guy with the funny smell in order to do well and have a good time. Oh, and don’t worry, we won’t spoil the season finale for you, assuming you can muster the emotional strength to even turn the television on after the latest episode.
Oh yeah, as if you needed any more reason to show your face, I’ll be there working as a scorekeeper. Come say hi.
Rumble in the Pub: Geeks Who Drink’s City Smackdown
You all show up on a weekly basis to fight, scratch, and claw at each other for the top prize of a $20 gift card to the British Bulldog, so I’d hate to see what you’re capable of with cold, hard cash on the line. Starting June 1, we’ve had top men keeping track of our registered teams and awarding them points for their top-3 finishes. The top 30 teams in each region will be invited to a special quiz event in which there will not only be cash money on the line (seriously, like a couple hundred bucks AT LEAST), but also some serious bragging rights. Imagine the glory of being anointed as the top quiz team in all of Denver. The whole thing is basically like a real-life Top Gun, just instead of fighter jets and homoerotic volleyball scenes, there are questions about Dr. Who and heavy drinking. If homoerotic volleyball happens on your own time, that’s your business and I don’t want to know about it.
But if you felt COMPELLED to tell me about your homoerotic volleyball exploits, message me on our Facebook page. You know, for science.
Birthday Cake
I’ve been a quizzer and quizmaster long enough to know that some of our audience could use a little help on their social skills. Hey, no one’s judging, but let’s not ignore the truth. If last night’s quiz taught me anything, it’s that if you need friends in a hurry, birthday cake is the way to go about it. We celebrated my aunt Melinda’s birthday last night and there was a full sheet cake in attendance. At least it was a full sheet cake for a short amount of time. If you imagine the cake as a fallen horse and our quizzers as a herd of zombies, you’ll have an accurate visual of the cake’s demise.


Have you no shame?
Gnome Candles
Want an easy way into your quizmaster’s heart but don’t have a birthday cake handy? Bring gifts. Last night Rachel was generous to hand my fiancée and I a wonderful housewarming gift. Yes, the picture is showing just what you think it is: a motherfucking gnome candle. I’ll admit that I’m a bit torn, as I want to put our gift to good use, but I don’t want to burn our new friend to the ground. It’s a dilemma that may indeed haunt the rest of my days.

Jenny not included.
So that’s your information download for the week. I’m sure next week I’ll come up with some inane topic to rant about, or an interesting story to tell you, but this week you needed to be educated. I won’t apologize; just men just want to see the world learn.