So yeah, Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science definitely stirred up something in young Emilio's pants in the late 80's. That part at the end where she's in the gym teacher outfit? Yeah, I took that thought to bed with me many nights as a kid. "Anything bigger than a handful and you're risking a sprained tongue." Indeed.

***

Did you ever wonder if Corey Feldman might have had more lasting fame if he hadn't had to share the "Corey" moniker with that shitbag Haim? I mean, Feldman was clearly the more talented and interesting of the two. And I think his going off the rails a bit like he did started to get older was to try to establish his own identity away from that shitbag Haim. Also, that shitbag Haim was just coasting by on his pretty boy shitbag face, while Feldman was actually trying to diversify with singing and dancing and shit. Who knows, maybe if it hadn't been for that shitbag Haim, Feldman would be Like Brad Pitt or DiCaprio or something. Maybe he'd even have a few Oscars by now. I guess we'll never know... Nah, he'd probably still be a punchline.

***

I had a cosmic latte once. It was really just a normal coffee with a bunch of LSD in it, but I did see the entire universe for the next twelve hours.

***

Thanks to Conan for working that spreadsheet again last night. His score hand is strong.

I was about to go on at length about all of the great stuff in last night's video round, which was one of the most entertaining we've had in a bit. But then I remembered that many other venues haven't seen it yet, as we only do the one every week. And I don't want to give anything away. I will just say: Hey there Jim, now that we're done, I'll ask if you'll remove your arm.

You know that Wilma Flinstone wasn't wearing anything under her dress besides a big, flaming-red cavewoman bush.

I can't believe I'm just now realizing that dude's name Is fucking Peter O'Toole. That seriously had my brain melting when I thought about it.

I don't know who this Charles Ramsey fella is, but I do know he's no Flavor Flav.

I don't know. I got nothin'.

Thanks to Conan for backing me up last night. I promise to not make any barbarian referrences. I can't promise I won't play this song next week, but only because it's brand new and awesome.

fsdxijasdalk'df

Because I did a bunch of acid when I was younger and I never saw those colors.

Here's that Orson Welles shiz I was talking on last night.

Some of you thought Marvin Gaye was Jack Johnson. Or was it John Mayer? Either way, I hope a bird shits in your ear today.

Do you young whippersnappers not know about ol' Ronnie Raygun and his magical jelly beans? Is that another thing that should make me feel old?

"Aruba, I'll take ya, Peruuuu I'm gonna break ya." - Joran Van der sloot.

The Josh Motherfucking Johnson Team Name Of The Night Award goes to Jizzney's Masntasia.You should bring that team name over to the Wrangler for added awesome.

Not that there was anything about The Walking Dead in the quiz last night, but this is awesome and actually makes that show watchable.

Even though it kept some people away last night, rain is pretty great, right? I for one am super-psyched about it.

Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM