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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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5:22 PM, January 23, 2015
Scores
The Piccadilly Twitz 85

An Old Sheep Dog Named Paco Sinbad 82

Swollen Colon 80

3 men & A little lady 76

Delateyard by Marriott 76

Rolling For Charisma 74

Sexually Deviant Muppets 69

Quizative Easing 63

Terry's Got Meat Sweats 63

Clan Clarkson 53

Kyles & Kelly 53

Shakerheads 11

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

A good pastry is a thing of beauty. They come in so many forms, from the humble biscuit to the haughty croissant, the history of the pastry is the history of man. At the core, pastry requires only flour, fat, and water. From these three magical ingredients comes some of the finest eating known to man.

The pastry has been traced back to ancient Egypt. From there, it made its way to Greece, then Rome, then the known world, then the unknown world. I'd actually be willing to bet somebody made a pastry or two in China or South America before any European chefs showed up, but there's nothing on the wiki about that.

There are five basic types of pastry, all delicious. My personal favorite? The fritter. There are very few things in the world that can compare with a fresh apple fritter with plenty of cinnamon, and I'm too busy drooling at the moment to even consider alternatives. Various other doughnut-shop mainstays are up near the top, though. Bear claws and cinnamon twists (the kind that look like braids and are fluffier than a standard cinnamon roll, which are also delicious) are probably the next two.

Beignets, sopapillas, and frybread are some other excellent dessert pastry options. And of course let's not forget all the wonderful things the puff pastry provides - pot pies, turnovers, and so on. You can pastry-up any part of your meal and make it better. Unless you're gluten free, in which case you're on your own.

The moral of the story is that round 5 was the best round, and pastries are the best food. Thanks for coming out, goodbye to everyone's favorite bartender and Kitten Mitten, Madelyn, and I hope to see you all back here next week!

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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11:05 PM, January 15, 2015
Scores
Oscar Racism: Keeping The Yellow Lego Man Down 72

The Scragglypoofs 57

These Are The Answers 54

Worse Than ICP 51

Cosby Says The Darndest Things 47

Hot Tub Yeast Harvest 45

Kyle + Kelly 38

Aces In The Whole 36

That Baby Don't Look Like Me 35

Kitten Mittens 29

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

I've mentioned Clone High before at several quizzes and in multiple blogs, and it's still worth bringing up again. Where else can you hear Gandhi tell Abe Lincoln "I like my humping like I like my martinis: drrrryyyyyyy!" Also, Gandhi is anti-violence, not anti-comedy.

Sadly, neither Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. nor Braveheart were featured on Clone High. I can kinda get why, though. King is still a profoundly relevant figure. The continued racial upheaval in America makes that painfully obvious. While I don't believe anything should be held sacred in comedy, it's difficult to caricature someone who was killed in a struggle that's still going on. It's practically impossible to do that on a weekly basis.

Braveheart, on the other hand, didn't need to be caricatured. He's already Mel Gibson, and how much more ridiculous can you get? I mean, we didn't know back in 2002 just how messed up that dude is, but looking back it's pretty obvious. He really believed that he was Mad Max, and that the crazy gangs (and Tina Turner) were the Jews. I'm still a little curious how he managed Lethal Weapon 2 so convincingly when he probably was totally in favor of apartheid. But I digress. What matters is that you can't overdo crazy Mel Gibson, even in a cartoon. Besides, they had Genghis Khan in there anyway.

What else went on tonight... Oh yeah. We had a round on Charlies without Charlie Daniels, Charley Pride, or Charlie Murphy (list organized from whitest to blackest). Somebody did write Checkpoint Charlie, which is not actually a person. It was a gate. Checkpoint C in the Berlin Wall. C'mon, y'all. Bush league.

Thanks for coming out, everybody! I'll see you right back here next week, where we can go into other underappreciated one-season cartoons. Like Clerks! Their second episode was a clip show of highlights from the first episode! Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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10:32 PM, January 08, 2015
Scores
Taken 4 89

Tyler Perry's Game of Tyrones 86

185 Quizmasters Walk Into A Bar 84

Menstruating Snail Tails 84

We Refuse A Name 83

Quizzie McGuire 83

I Had Something For This 80

Team Dink 72

Stompy 66

House of T & A 61

KRAE 40

Blue Ivy 13

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

It was a really nice day today. I walked from my office over to the Office Depot to print out my visual rounds for quiz around noon, grabbed a Jamba Juice on the way back (Razmatazz, if you were curious), and generally had a nice little walk. I was wearing naught but a light hoodie (which may or may not become illegal in the state of Oklahoma - fortunately, I have no reason to be in Oklahoma any time in the rest of my life).

Even coming to quiz, though the sun had set on our fair city, the weather was still merely cool. Crisp. Brisk, even.

SO WHAT IN THE GOD DAMN SHIT WAS GOING ON AFTER QUIZ!?!??!? NO, MOTHER NATURE! THIS IS COLORADO, NOT MASSACHUSSETTS! WE DO NOT NEED THIS INSTA-ICE BULLSHIT YOU'RE TRYING TO LAY ON US!

I had a whole blog idea already prepared to honor tonight's return of Archer: The Spy Who Arched Me. Admittedly, it had little to nothing to do with quiz, but since when do my blogs ever have anything to do with quiz? I mean, usually I at least pick a question or a round to go off on, or mention how the top teams tonight were neck-and-neck going into round 8 and pulled off 13-15 point scores, but I can't even think right now. It had been two hours since I was outside, and I couldn't walk to the damned car without nearly falling on my ass like four times. And falling on your ass twice, whoever you are. Gotta watch your ass or I'll fall on it. It's true.

This is the real reason I stopped driving and got a job I could light-rail to. Unfortunately, tomorrow I have an appointment early in the morning so I have to drive. If I die in a horrible wreck, remember me as I was: bitter and narcissistic.

Do you want rants, Mother Nature? Because that is how you get rants.

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