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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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11:18 AM, July 18, 2014
Scores
The Savage Ghost of Murder 86

Peacocks Are Just Rave Turkeys 80

Dane Cook IS An Itchy Asshole 73

Sorry (Not Sorry) 70

Dikembe Mutombo 69

FrontsPiece 66

The Poppler Effect 65

Wikipedia Brown 65

Blood, Sweat, & Beers 60

Molotov Cocktease 59

Stephen Hawking's School of Dance 57

Moxie Crimefighter Dos 46

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

I'm going to do something I try to avoid in blogs. I'm going to get political. I know nobody really likes it when entertainers start spouting their barely coherent ramblings about whatever the worst policy of the century is that day, but I can't stay quiet anymore. James Garfield was a tyrant, he was a fool, and he got what was coming to him! Charles Guiteau will someday rank among the great Americans like George Washington, Susan B Anthony, and Tom Selleck.

The other two assassinations that came up in quiz, John Lennon and John F Kennedy, are still bad things. Though John Lennon had kinda gone off the rails by that point. JFK wasn't off the rails, but WAS railing Marilyn Monroe. So that's a thing, I guess. I kinda wish that instead of "JFK" we'd been able to use the Zapruder film, but there wasn't audio for that. Would've made things very difficult. "Guess what silent film we're hinting at!" Certainly doable, but tough.

It would have made me laugh nearly as much as Yoshi Minh and Parappa the Crapper. I played Parappa at my friend's house a lot when I was a kid. Of course I use that term in the purely singular sense, since I only had one friend. He was a good one, though. We hung out a lot. His dog never liked me, but it was a cockapoo, so it wasn't big enough to ever really be afraid of. She was just old and ornery, like I'm becoming. Well, I've always been ornery. I'm just becoming old.

Thanks to everyone who came out last night. Hope you had a great night. I'll miss you guys next week while we're off for the UMS, but we'll be right back here in two weeks for more happyfuntimes with the geeks who drink super duper goodquiz! Hooray!

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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12:06 PM, July 11, 2014
Scores
Why NOT Zoidberg? 82

Dane Cook IS an Itchy Asshole 76

Rolling for Charisma 71

We're Here For The Gang Bang 67

3 Amigos 64

Moxie Crimefighter Quattro 55

Kitten Mittens 45

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

We've all had a friend go through a bad breakup with somebody that treated them like crap. Somebody who may have been a good match at first, but who grew apart and became an attention-whoring diva, flinging themself to the floor at the slightest touch even though they've got 250lbs of pure muscle packed onto their 6'8" frame. Someone who blames your friends and family for their shitty attitude and worse leadership.

And we've all seen that friend get embarassingly hopeful when things go wrong for that person, and they start looking back and realizing how great they had it. They leap at the chance for a reunion, despite the entirety of their history. It's the same person! They're going to do it again! You'll treat them like a queen, they'll treat you like crap, and eventually you'll get dumped for a team with a higher salary offer!

Maybe not. Maybe that's just Cleveland. But seriously, Cleveland. What the fuck. I know you're awful, and always have been, and always will be, but the Browns have dealt with that and aren't asking Jim Brown to come back out of retirement! They lose with dignity every single week, and the Cavs can learn to do that 3 or 4 times a week.

That's why you'll never win, Cleveland. You've got no respect for yourself. You've got Major League, The Drew Carey Show, a river that caught fire, and now a return to this dysfunctional relationship with LeBron. Just pathetic.

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
10:38 AM, July 04, 2014
Scores
So Trivia 80

One Nation, Under Canada 79

Hope Chase Is Using Protection With Andrew Tonight 75

The Clusterfucks 71

#Fireworks 67

Alex Howes 2014 62

Toolbox Killers 61

Half The Bitches And Dennis 61

Cervix Industry Night 60

Michael Cheetah 57

Moes Is Paying For All Your Drinks 53

WTCB 28

Mer-Bear 3

Ham Slam 1

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

America turns 238 this year. Two-hundred and thirty-eight years old. That's older than Joan Rivers and Joan Rivers' replacement body parts combined! This reminds me of another birthday that gets nowhere near as much attention.

The year was 21 AD, the day December 25th, and Jesus "The Messiah" Christ, Son of the One True God by the Holy Virgin Mary, raised by Joseph of Nazareth, and eventual savior of all mankind, went out with his buddies to celebrate the big day. The Big J was ready to drink for the very first time. Sure, Joseph had allowed the occasional sip - what carpenter in all history hasn't enjoyed a nice brew or cup of wine after a hard day of working? Especially before the advent of power tools!

But this time, he was ready to walk into a bar, slap a couple denarii on the countertop, and get himself some glorious red Roman happy juice. He didn't have the disciples at the time, so he was still rolling with his college buddies. Jacob, Aaron, Aaron who was called Jacob, and Rufus. Rufus was a Roman, but he'd always bought the guys wine since he didn't have Roman friends and the J-Team were the only ones who would hang out with him.

After a good solid 6 hours of drinking, Jesus was a bit drunk. And by "a bit" I mean "The Devil came to tempt him and Jesus offered him 3 denarii to do a naked lap around the hippodrome." Three sheets to the wind and infinite fishes to the people. Aaron (regular Aaron, not Aaron who was called Jacob) was sortof the "mom" of the group and tried to get some water into it, but it kept getting turned into wine. Naturally there was some frustration on Aaron's part, but other Aaron (who was called Jacob) found it hilarious.

On the way home, though, some legionnaires stopped the boys and tried to hassle them. Rufus couldn't do much about it, because Rufus was kindof a little bitch, and so it came down the The Lamb of God himself. Turns out a) his healing tricks worked on himself and b) drunkenness can be healed. Needless to say, an instantly sober and very pissed off Prince of Peace is a little more frightening than the name might imply. The legionnaires weren't hurt, but they certainly didn't bother the guys again.

Turning to his friends as they walked home, Jesus said "someday, guys, my followers are going to have a country where they don't have to put up with this. People can drink and get rowdy and blow shit up all they want. And that land will be called America."

And that's the true story of America.

Thank you.

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