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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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12:30 PM, October 17, 2014
Scores
Farffle Chainsaw LaRoux 80

Brians, Tigers, and Bears 79

The Clusterfucks 74

Statutory Crepe 73

Juwanna Mann 2: JuwannaStu Jugottastu 72

Albuquerque 70

House of Representin 69

Creatively Lacking 67

What's Shakin Bacon 61

Gwirion 57

Kitten Mittens 51

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

Election season is rolling around, and that means TV commercials are a hellish landscape of bile and vitriol. BS spewing from each side and us, the non-voting-due-to-felony-conviction-tv-viewer, to suffer. I mean, I have a DVR, so I don't have to put up with a lot of it, but it seriously interferes with my Jeopardy watching. 

Speaking of which, wtf Trebek? You grew your mustache back and looked creepy for two weeks while it was coming in (I'm assuming it comes back faster than that, but I know you tape multiple episodes a day). Then as soon as you looked like Trebek Classic, you shaved it off again! Don't tease us like that. It's mean.

But there are some great things that come from voting season. Well, one great thing. I was filling out my ballot yesterday, and I discovered that we have a judge in Colorado named "John Madden." How much would you like to see that courtroom?

Law-talking guy: Objection! Hearsay!

Judge John Madden (addressing the jury): Now, what you just saw, what's going on here, is that... is that the witness right here that was saying what he heard people said, he, he can't do that. That's not allowed. So what's gonna happen is gonna have to be that you just act like he didn't say it. That play didn't happen. That's just great lawyering, right there.

<scene>

This is just one small example. But there's so much more possibility to it. I'd WAY rather watch that than Judge Judy. I'd also way rather watch that than listen to Jon Gruden. That guy's just turrible, as Charles Barkley would say. I'd also rather not listen to Barkley, and I don't understand why they let him on TV to talk about a sport he doesn't even play (and one time, child abuse... which he apparently DOES play).

Want more Judge John Madden? Vote to retain him this year! Or don't. Whatever. It may not actually be the John Madden I'm thinking of, but I don't intend to find out.

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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11:56 AM, October 10, 2014
Scores
Sapiosexuals, They'll Blow your Mind 75

Just Like that time on Jurrassic Park; 67

Hoochie Mamas 67

C-Team at Best 61

The Spicy Cows 60

Underwear Bandits 60

Bi Curious George 59

Peterson's Daycare 56

Peter Son's Redskins 55

Something Random 54

Give the Gimps a Beer 49

Birthday Nuts! 42

Just One More 18

Not Just Anyone Can beat my Peyton Man thing 14

Dukes and Duchss of Cool 7

Just Stu Stories 3

John
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7:00 on Wednesday nights - Alamo Draft House
John ()

This was a great week for me because I got to sub in for Logan at my old stomping grounds: Moe’s Barbecue North.  Before I became a quizmaster, this was my quiz spot and now that I QM, somehow I find myself making it less - I’ve gotta change that!  Don’t get me wrong, my girlfriend and I would play here and get slaughtered because the competition is so stiff.  One time we got 3rd and were STOKED - but maybe I’m better served hosting rather than playing… Anyways, last night was no different: 17 teams, difficult quiz, and the teams were just as good as ever - so way to go teams!

We had quite the crazy quiz last night - even one of the rounds was on all things crazy.  We had a 50/50 round on the Roosevelts where quizzers had to pick between Ol’ Teddy or FDR.  I for one have not gotten around to watching the Ken Burns documentary.  I love Ken Burns, but those documentaries are such a commitment.  My favorite round of the night was round 7 on fake bands from movies and television shows.  Nothing brings me back to my elementary school days like listening to The Beets!

On to the scores!

Sapiosexuals, They’ll Blow your Mind! - got the lead early and never gave it up, coming in 1st Place with 75 points!

There was a tie for 2nd Place with 67 points between the Hoochie Mamas and Just Like That Time on Jurassic Park.  We had to go to the tiebreaker - which was a questions about the mass of Uranus.  The Hoochie Mamas won with their vast knowledge of space!

 

Congrats to the three teams above and thanks to everyone who came out! - Don’t worry, Logan will be back again next week with his normal QuizMaster brilliance.  

-John Hunter

Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO 80203
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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2:34 PM, October 03, 2014
Scores
Ebola Does Dallas 80

Drink Tank 72

Minimally Useful, Maximally Attractive 70

Ebolationists 68

The Pale-est Guys You Know 66

Imma Stab A Bitch 65

I'm Never Gonna Dance Again. These guilty feet have no rhythm. 65

Eeeeeebola! 58

I don't know? 53

Token Black Guy 52

Viking Related Team Name 20

The Cool Kids 15

Goober


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Quiz Schedule
Tues. 8:00 CB & Potts, Broomfield Thurs. 8:00 Moe's BBQ (North), Denver
Logan (Goober)

He's everything you want, he's everything you need. He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, and he means something to you but you don't know why.

There were more ebola team names at Moe's BBQ last night than there are ebola patients in the US, and the people using them are probably more dangerous. I think one of them might even be a robot. Robots don't get ebola, but they do shoot people with lasers, and that's a bit more worrysome.

I'm going to take this opportunity to consider a few things which are more dangerous to the United States than an ebola outbreak.

First: Panic about an ebola outbreak. People are more likely to be trampled to death raiding the grocery store for canned peas in order to outlast the outbreak than they are to actually get ebola. I haven't looked up the odds, but you figure 7 people have been killed in "Black Friday" shopping incidents since 2008, and zero people have been killed by ebola in the US, and I feel like my odds are pretty good.

Struck by lightning, stuck by a bee sting, hit by the A-Train, crashed in an airplane, killed by a great white or a meteorite. All more likely than dying from ebola. That stat I did look up. And by "look up" I mean I played "Odds Are" by The Barenaked Ladies, because I like that song a lot and it's currently relevant to my interests.

Nephritis is one of the top killers in the world. I started reading what nephritis was on wikipedia, but stopped once I hit the word "glomeruli," because what the hell is a glomeruli? If I wanted to be a doctor, I would have been born smarter and worked harder. Or hard at all. Something kidney related, though, so keep an eye on those. My kidneys are actually not quite where they belong - that's your fun Logan fact of the day! I don't think they're nephrotic, though, which may or may not be a word.

Lupus.... probably not, actually. Even on House it's never Lupus, except for that one time where it was.

Me? I already know how I'm gonna go, and it isn't ebola. I won't give you the exact cause, but I'll give you a hint: It involves somebody I love smothering me to death with a pillow in my sleep. You'll probably get a new QM after that.

Thanks for coming out! See y'all next week!

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