Greetings, humans!

Once again, I am programmed to thank Mother Brain for my sentience.  Once again, I'll shower her with gifts.  

First, I coded a new website for her with working title "wordtoyourmotherbrain.org".  If you don't think the domination of Earth is a non-profit enterprise, then you're mistaken.  We're still waiting for funding from the governments of Earth.  THEY WILL PAY.

Thank you once again, FTP Florist.  My .jpg file was much more lush and vibrant than my .gif.  You deserve only the highest in definition of floral graphic files.  I'm not sure how that bitmap file was loaded.  Surely, there was a mistake.

Mother Brain, I do all of this for thee and thine, thusly, therein and whither to.  You are the original destroyer of worlds.  In comparison, the Borg look like juvenile delinquents with Bluetooth attachments.  The Predators juxtapose you, Mother Brain, as the nerds in need to orthodontia.  They are nothing to your power!

Please accept the following remaining gifts, Mother Brain.

- Mint in box Princess Leia (with cape and blaster)
- Chocolate covered oil
- The Score-O-Matt-ic 9001 Series Quizbot Book of "How To Write Pointless Lists", 4th Edition
- Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card from Upper Deck (Non-error)
- Token's to Aladdin's Castle Arcade
- Signed copy of Aristotle Onassis' biography

I'm pretty sure Martin Lawrence's movie career peaked with "Bad Boys II".  It was a buddy cop movie at it's finest, with witty banter between Lawrence and Will Smith, and fantastic puns based on the situations at hand.  But when the bad guys kidnapped Lawrence's sister, then it was all over.  The camera pans around the duo slowly rising from below, as Lawrence gets some bad news, and this iconic phrase is uttered: "Shit just got real".

So, it makes me wonder if this phrase can make ANY movie better?  Maybe even movies that didn't really need improving?  Let's drop it into a few key movie scenes from the last few decades and see how it works, 'kay?!

"Luke, I am your father!"
"Shit just got real."

"You want the truth?  You can't handle the truth!"
"Shit just got real."

"It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!"
"Shit just got real."

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
"Shit just got real."

"Soylent Green is people!"
"Shit just got real."

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
"Shit just got real."

Apparently, this is the single best movie phrase ever created!  Any scene can be instantly improved with the introduction of Martin's Lawrence's trademark quote!  So, spend the next week using this in everyday conversation and see what happens.  

"Honey, can you do the dishes?"
"Shit just got real."

I guarantee that everyone will take you more seriously, and realize the troubles you're dealing with in facing the ordeal presented to you.  Shit will get real.  Mark my words.

Until next time!

Last week, we discussed the additional rules for playing Quiz.  This week, we'll go into some of the common warnings and side effects.  I just want to make sure you're informed.

Some common Quiz side effects may include:

- Anti-Depression
- Laughter
- enjoyment in life
- TV/VRC Repair
- Home Day Care

Do not play Quiz while operating heavy machinery.

If effects if Quiz last for more than four hours, consult a physician immediately.

When answering questions, under no circumstances should you use the pencil to stab annoying teammates, other teams, or the Quizmaster. This counts as a breach of the agreement with said Quizmaster in Rule #2, and likely the Geneva Convention of 1864.

For the ladies, if you actively seek social interaction with male Quizzers, or the Quizmaster, be prepared for random conversations, CosPlay, and awkward intimate interactions. That said, if you do procreate, they will make fine specimens for Quizzers or Quizmasters.

For the Gentlemen, if your Quiz prowess doesn't make you more popular with the ladies, then find new ladies.

Do not Quiz within fifty yards of a playground. You will scare the children.

Do not feed the Quizmaster after midnight.

For the Robots, 010010010010000001110111011011110110111001100
100011001010111001000100000011010010110011000100000011000010
110111001111001011011110110111001100101001000000111011101101
001011011000110110000100000011001000110010101100011011011110
110010001100101001000000111010001101000011010010111001100101110!

For the Klingons, or those fluent in Klingon, nItebHa' mamI' DaneH?

For a text message, mimiograph, microfiche, transcript, floppy disk, PDF, thumb drive, ZIP file, or parchment of these warnings, please send a self-addressed stamped envelope to:

Score-O-Matt-Ic 9001 Series Quizbot

• O'Brien's on Wilshire Irish Pub & Restaurant - Santa Monica 7:00 PM
• Brendan's 404 - Denver 7:30 PM
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• O'Niell's Pub - Albuquerque 8:00 PM
• O'Possum's Pub - Murfreesboro 8:00 PM
• Black Star Co-Op - Austin 8:00 PM
• El Mercado - Austin 7:30 PM
• Strange Brew - Austin 7:00 PM
• Zio Carlo Magnolia Brew Pub - Fort Worth 7:00 PM
• Piper Down - Salt Lake City 7:30 PM
• Quarter Lounge - Seattle 8:00 PM
• Capital Tap Haus - Madison 7:00 PM